See if you can follow us. Cherokee Park homeowner buys flamingos and puts them in yard to protest amendments to conservation overlay. Flamingos stolen. Homeowner buys American flag to protest flamingo theft. Flamingos discovered in neighborhood dumpster. Homeowner retrieves flamingos and returns to yard but places them in tree so they’re harder to steal. Homeowner discovers flamingo head in bed. Homeowner duct-tapes flamingo head back on decapitated flamingo and outfits it and all other flamingos in little PETA T-shirts. “Have You Hugged Your Flamingo?” bumper sticker found on homeowner’s car. Homeowner places “You Can Have My Flamingo When You Pry It From My Cold, Dead Hands” bumper sticker over previous sticker. Ad discovered in Sunday Tennessean reading simply, “Flamingos Are Gay.” About half of this is true.