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July 20, 2006 Old Archives » Columns: Stories

“OK, kids, the Department of Children’s Services has a surprise for you. Who wants to go to Youth Ranch for the summer?”
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“OK, kids, the Department of Children’s Services has a surprise for you. Who wants to go to Youth Ranch for the summer? OK, OK, try to control yourselves. Youth Ranch is a wonderful place where children can leave behind their troubled pasts and enjoy sex with criminals, arsonfire songs and riflery. No, Tommy, it’s nothing like prison. You will know your sexual partners. And no more questions about age of consent. A Youth Ranch employee will help coordinate everything. Now put down that toothbrush shiv you’re making and sign up for some activities.”

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