Off Limits 

Shocking News. Miami, Sacramento, Fort Worth—three cities whose police departments in recent weeks have had suspects die in custody after being shot with TASER stun-guns. Tuesday, Nashville's top cop Ronal Serpas announced that his department will soon be using the 50,000-volt, two-pronged shockers around town. If you drive too fast or aren't white, beware.

Why Not Burgundy? If you thought Diane Sawyer looked like hell Friday morning during Good Morning America's stop in downtown Nashville, you were right. But it's only because party animal Sawyer and sidekick Robin Roberts took a posse of Music City moms out to the French Quarter Café Thursday night. Yes, the queens of feel-good morning shows sucked down margaritas—most of the non-broadcast women seemed to drink ice water—and asked aristocratically voyeuristic questions about what it's like to take kids to school and then go to work. But to be fair: Diane could drink Katie Couric under the table.

Spotted Outside the Long Boulevard Home of a Few Twentysomethings: A Kerry/Edwards sign tossed by their recycling bin. Talk about living your ideals to the bitter end. Meanwhile, we hear, Bush-Cheney supporters dipped their signs in toxic waste and threw them in the Cumberland.

Really Sloppy Joes. Saturday night, Dateline NBC aired the results of an undercover investigation of dirty school cafeterias and—you guessed it—your children could be in harm's way. Metro schools' dining halls were among those featured on the gross-out broadcast: they had the usual mouse droppings and cold hamburgers along with the slightly alarm-inducing "shards of glass mixed with fruit in a cooler." The whole ordeal prompted schools director Pedro Garcia to pledge a kitchen crackdown. We just hope the egg on his face was fried at home.

Overheard at Shelby Dog Park: "We used to go to Sevier Park, but Ronnie Greer kicked us out." Or something like that. Here's the back story: Not long ago, 12 South area neighbors began a daily tradition of meeting at Sevier Park after work or on weekends, getting to know each other and watching their dogs roam free. Meanwhile, the drug dealers who frequented the park fled. Turns out people who sell crack are afraid of unleashed German Shepherds. All of this is good stuff: neighbors getting to know each other, canines playing happily, drug dealers gone. Then, Metro Council member Ronnie Greer inexplicably proposed a bill that would ban dogs from the park. The council soundly defeated Greer's bill, but the controversy prompted Metro park rangers to start ticketing dog owners who violated the leash law. Now the civic-minded neighbors are gone, and the park is all but abandoned—at least until the drug dealers find their way back. Good work, Ronnie.


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