Off Limits
Wal-Thwarted—for now. Sources tell Off Limits that CBM Enterprises, the contractor considering plans to build a Wal-Mart in southwest Davidson County, has been cited by the Tennessee Department of Environment and Conservation for illegal road clearing. It's a small victory, but neighbors will take what they can get.
Ladies love MJ. The Tennessean's John Glennon seemed to fall in love with MJ Garrett's bottled blonde tresses in a Sunday profile of The Real World star and former Vandy football player. Glennon portrayed Garrett as inquisitive and intellectually curious, neglecting Garrett's brain-dead confessionals and how his eyes widen awkwardly every time he says the word "homosexual." What a tool. He is, sadly, the most entertaining character on The Real World and someone who, with the right agent, could steal Paul Walker's film career... One more thing: the next time Vanderbilt's Gordon Gee reminds everyone that his football team is populated with student athletes—not empty-minded jocks—remember this grammatically challenged and mind-numbingly shallow revelation from Garrett: "If a blond girl walks into the room, I'm going to talk to them. Even if she's not that pretty." On the bright side, the Nashville native is not a product of Metro public schools. Donelson Christian Academy: he's all yours.
Frist: Genocide, shmenocide. The Senate version of a massive foreign operations bill—currently stalled in Congress—contains $150 million in aid for Sudan, the Texas-sized African nation that Congress and the Bush administration both concede is undergoing genocide. Unfortunately for family members of the more than 50,000 dead and 100,000 displaced, and in an unconscionable repeat of past events, Washington is content to let people kill each other—as long as all parties involved have dark skin. Senate majority leader Bill Frist, M.D., was an early proponent of aid to Sudan, but now seems strangely silent about the issue, which is one the Bush administration would prefer to ignore. Guess crimes against humanity aren't covered in the Hippocratic Oath.
On Target. 12:51 p.m., Target at Hickory Hollow. Halloween Department. A 3-year-old girl looks at a rack of rubber presidential masks, while her 11-year-old brother walks around wearing a John Kerry mask and stroking its bulbous chin. "Bill Clinton!" the girl shouts. "I'm not Bill Clinton!" the brother insists. "No Bill Clinton, right here," the girl says, gesturing to a mask her brother can't see. "I'm not Clinton, I'm John Kerry!" the brother yells. "I know you're not Bill Clinton," the girl retorts, "you're ugly".... Five minutes later, as the brother tries on a foul-smelling mask of the sitting president and quickly snatches it off; "Pyew! Bush stinks."
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