An unknown and possibly supernatural force is haunting the spacious walk-in closet of local man Todd Thaxton.
“If Unsolved Mysteries was still on the air, I’d have their people on the phone,” he says. “This is truly the closet of mystery.”
The alleged closet of mystery is inside the house that Thaxton shares with his wife Sandra and their daughter Emily in Green Hills. Reports indicate that all other closets in the house are unaffected by the force.
Thaxton began to suspect that something had taken hold of his previously benign closet when corduroy pants that fit perfectly as recently as last springand which had been hanging in the closet unworn since approximately Aprilno longer fit in the waist when he got them out two weeks ago.
“It just doesn’t add up,” the bewildered and slightly frightened man told dry cleaner Martha Francis at White Way Cleaners. “Why would pants that fit perfectly only a few months ago suddenly and mysteriously be too small in the waist?”
Francis, although refusing to make eye contact with the man, told Thaxton that she had no idea what could be going on.
On the advice of a friend, Thaxton then contacted a local shaman to perform a ritual cleansing ceremony on the closet to break the spell of the supernatural, pants-affecting force. The shaman, Elonzo “Buzzy” Jones of Brentwood, advised Thaxton that the cleansing spells seem to work better when a ritual mantra is repeated by the closet owner after a daily 45-minute walk.
“I’m walking 45 minutes a day, and then repeating my mantra into the closet, just like Buzzy said,” Thaxton reports. “I’d do anything to keep that spell at bay. It’s just creepy.”
Thaxton’s wife refused to comment on her husband’s activities, and responded to reporters’ questions by rolling her eyes in an exasperated manner.
(Fabricate: v. to make up in order to deceive.)
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