The power of Mumpower
It finally seems to have dawned on lawmakers that they're disgusting the public with their embarrassing antics in the Capitol sandbox. So last week, House GOP leader Jason Mumpower called a truce in his war with Speaker Kent Williams and termed the whole ordeal a "little bump in the road." But it sounds like his ass is still a little bit chapped:

"This little bump in the road, if anything, has created mistrust among members of the legislature," said Mumpower. "We're probably going to have to work harder to overcome that mistrust. Maybe the days of doing business by taking a person at their word are over, but that doesn't mean it's an end at being able to do business." —Jeff Woods

Defending Albert Haynesworth
As a restricted free agent, the Titans have exclusive negotiating rights with Albert Haynesworth until Feb. 27. Thus far they've made one offer that wasn't close to what Haynesworth says he's looking for: something in the range of the $32 million given last year to Vikings defensive end Jared Allen.Not knowing Mr. Haynesworth, I'm entirely unqualified to speak for the man. But I will say this: Not only is he within his right to say "no thanks" to the Titans, he'd be a fool not to hold out for something better.Football is played by mercenaries. Unlike baseball or basketball, NFL players rarely have the money in their contracts guaranteed. That's why, whenever you hear of a new free agent signing, you should almost always discount the numbers being thrown around on SportsCenter. "Six years for $65 million" makes an agent look good, but it doesn't mean a thing if the player blows out his knee and gets cut.Because of the violent nature of their sport, football players are under more pressure to get that one Even My Great-Great-Grandkids Will Be Living in a Gated Community contract. Haynesworth, coming off a fourth-place vote for Defensive Player of the Year, has said as much.

So while Nashville may soon be vilifying him as the second coming of Ivan Boesky, Haynesworth is just being honest. If he's expected to risk life and limb for a team that may not honor his contract, why should he do anything less than hold out for a max deal? —Caleb Hannan

Take that, Chip Forrester
By announcing he wouldn't run for governor only five days after the Democratic Party elected Chip Forrester chairman, Congressman Lincoln Davis was sending a message, according to one insider: "It feels like a 'fuck you, Chip Forrester' to me."

Davis already was leaning heavily against running for governor in 2010, afraid he'd lose and become an unemployed ex-congressman like Bob Clement. But the party's executive committee shoved Davis over the edge by electing Forrester against the wishes of four Democratic congressmen, the governor and a gaggle of former chairmen, this source says."The talk was going around that if Chip won, Lincoln was out. Suddenly, boom, the announcement comes this week. The timing of it really got my attention... Lincoln was probably not going to run anyway, but Chip's election sealed the deal." —Jeff Woods

A gun nut siege in Crossville
The National Rifle Association is taking aim at little Crossville, Tenn., for having the audacity to try to ban weapons on city-owned property. City officials proposed the ordinance after a firefighter accidentally discharged his gun while cleaning it in a firehouse. Other city workers were in the room at the time, and they were lucky they weren't shot. So officials decided that they needed to set some rules about firearms before somebody did get hurt. Sounds logical, doesn't it?

Hah! You've never met a gun nut, have you? Under the alarming headline "Tennessee: Right-to-Carry Under Attack in Crossville!" the NRA has sent an email alert to its followers claiming "anti-gun bills such as this one will clearly strip those of Crossville, Tennessee, of their right to self-defense." That left beleaguered Crossville officials forced to explain this completely reasonable proposal a million times to a million different knot heads. —Jeff Woods

The money behind English Only
Auto scion Lee Beaman gained a bit of notoriety after campaign filings showed he was the largest local contributor to Eric Crafton's failed English Only amendment. Beaman's $6,000 contribution to the controversial bill fell squarely in line with his past efforts.In 2004, Beaman gave $3,500 to the Swift Boat campaign against John Kerry. Last year, he contributed the same amount to support California's anti-gay marriage referendum. Between 1995 and 2000, Beaman Motorsports gave more money to politicians than Goodyear Tires, with nearly all of it going to Republican causes.Figuring out where Beaman stands on the issues of the day, therefore, is pretty self-explanatory. What isn't is why he backed one of the most divisive propositions in Nashville's history.

According to Beaman, his mind was made up after talking to an employee. The woman had spent 20 years in America, much of that time working under him. A native of Brazil, she'd eventually gained her citizenship, as Beaman told us, "by going through all the right channels.""She told me emphatically that the best thing she ever did was to become very fluent in English," said Beaman. "Everything that we can do to encourage and force people to learn English is actually best for them. The people that are in favor of translators, although they may be well-intentioned, are harming immigrants. She suspects it's a plot on the part of some people to keep their wages depressed."Of course, when pressed for actual, you know, examples of these nefarious plotters, Beaman had no answer. Neither could he account for the fact that most immigrants are actually trying to learn the language, just like his Brazilian employee would insist is best for them.Beaman's tipping point came after hearing a radio ad he says was paid for by Nashville for All of Us. The ad said that, had English Only been around in Biblical times, "Jesus wouldn't have been able to get a carpenter's license." —Caleb Hannan

Ah, the good ole days
As the Tennessee House works to revise its sexual harassment policy, Metro Pulse columnist Frank Cagle notes that, despite the weirdness on Capitol, the legislature's not nearly as depraved as it once was. Writes Cagle:

"You no longer hear stories like the one about the House member back in the 1990s who got a staffer drunk and parked on a lonely road. While she was throwing up out the window, he ran the electric window up, trapping her under the chin. Then he pulled up her skirt and had sex with her. He's gone, as is the legislator whose colleagues exited a club one night to discover he had a naked intern spread-eagled on the hood of his Cadillac." —Jeff Woods

For more daily mirth and adventure from Pith in the Wind, visit nashvillescene.com.