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Midnight Movie: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 

When: Aug. 1-2 2014
Can we be real for a minute and just accept that the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie is probably just as dumb as the Michael Bay-produced reboot premiering next weekend? I mean, yeah, the lips on the nuevo turtles are kind of a horror show, and the badassification of this latest attempt to recapture the hearts of nostalgic Gen Y-ers looks to be as rampant as the urinating robots from Transformers. But let’s not forget that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles prominently featured an MC Hammer song and ends with a giant rat uttering the phrase “I made a funny.” That being said, if you’re going to see a movie about mutated turtles who fight ninjas, make it this one — if only because of the pizza-eating contest and party favors sponsored by Two Boots at both Belcourt midnight screenings. Radical! LANCE CONZETT


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