Metro Council to wear 'moon suits' during meetings 

NASA-purchased suits are climate-controlled, bulletproof

NASA-purchased suits are climate-controlled, bulletproof

Last week the Metro Council voted that members will wear protective suits during meetings out of concern that constituents may somehow pose a threat.

The so-called "moon suits," which will cost taxpayers $2,300 each, were developed by NASA to protect astronauts from hostile environments in space. The purchase of the suits is the brainchild of Metro Council member Jim Gotto, who has become increasingly concerned that a member of the public may try to interact with a council member during a meeting.

"It's farfetched," Gotto admits, "but there is always the chance that somebody could attempt to do a council member harm. This is a way to prevent that."

The vote was 40-0—an extreme rarity for the notably fractious body.

When the wearing of the suits becomes mandatory in September, council meetings will take on an unworldly air, with 40 members wearing the head-to-toe contraptions, which are both bulletproof and climate controlled. Members will move slowly around the council chambers as though in zero gravity, and will communicate via headset radio.

"We can even meet if the air conditioning gives out in the meeting room," Metro Council member Diane Neighbors pointed out during a fitting session for the suits last Wednesday.

NASA, which is looking to help fund its projects by selling products and technology on Earth, hopes that the use of the suits will become common, especially in an age of terrorism when public officials are feeling more vulnerable.

"This is another example of the way space technology is constantly benefiting those of us on Earth," says NASA spokesperson Rick Temple. "Who could have anticipated that the same methods of protecting astronauts from dangerous organisms and deadly space rays could work just as well against the public the council is elected to serve?"

(The Fabricator is satire. Don't believe everything you read.)

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