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Mayan Apocalypse 

When: Fri., Dec. 21 2012
Happy apocalypse, everybody! As foretold by Mayan prophecy, our earthly realm will soon be beset upon by ancient bird-gods, erupting volcanos, frog rains and at least one zombie horde. Honestly, the Mayans weren’t exactly clear about what kind of universe-destroying force we’d face at the end of their long-count calendar, but they almost certainly meant business. What are you going to do with your final hours on this mortal plane? Confess your undying love to a stranger? Tell your boss to go to hell? Go full-on Thunderdome in the grocery aisles over the last jug of milk? Who cares! It’s all over by tomorrow, so you may as well go completely buck wild. If nothing else, you’ll finally get to use up all of those Y2K supplies you’ve been hoarding for the past decade. As the great philosopher Frank Costanza once said, “I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, with the hideous head of Quetzalcoatl looming over us, you’re gonna hear about it!”
— Lance Conzett


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