Downtown T-shirt stand owner George Labaton has begun marketing a custom T-shirt that he hopes will catch on nationwide, and maybe worldwide. The shirts feature the slogan, "Kiss my assit's low carb."
"It's a perfect slogan," Labaton says. "It's quick, it's pithy, it's topical, everybody gets it. I want this to be a catchphrase. That's why I've applied for a trademark to make sure that nobody else can steal my idea."
The vendor says he has sold only "a few" of the shirts so far, but adds, "I'm sure it'll catch on as the summer goes on. I saw one on a guy in a news photo taken at Bonnaroo, so that was great publicity."
Labaton has apparently also gotten the memo from the state office of business development about international marketing.
"We see tourists from all over the world here, and I want them to have a shirt they can wear at home," Labaton says, proudly showing off the shirts with his slogan in several languages, including French ("Embrassez mon âne que c'est bas hydrate de carbone"), German ("Küssen sie meinen esel, den es niedriges kohlenhydrat ist") and Spanish ("Bese mi burro que es carbohidrato bajo").
Not everyone is as sure as Labaton about the quality of the humor involved in the prospective national catchphrase.
"The slogan contains what some people consider a vulgar phrase, which automatically limits the potential market," says Tennessean book editor Alan Bostick, who often write critiques of T-shirts for the online magazine Slate. "In addition, the humor is trite, obvious and frankly seems to be trying a little too hard."
"There's a guy who writes reviews of T-shirts?" Labaton asks when told of Bostick's criticism. "Hey, I've got a ready reply for that: Kiss my assit's low carb."
(The Fabricator is satire. Don't believe everything you read.)