List 

Many Middle Tennesseans were upset recently by rumors that the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency had introduced rattlesnakes into outlying areas to counteract a boom in wild turkeys. This can’t be true, according to a Tennessean report, because the serpents mostly dine on small mammals. But freedom with the facts is the stuff of urban legends. Here are some other urban legends as related to the Scene:

♦ There’s a hook-handed wild man of Percy Warner Park who only comes out in the wee hours of morning.

♦ Varallo’s chili house is haunted by an angry chili demon.

♦ There’s a church in Chapel Hill with an “unstealable” Bible. It was common for 19th-century ragamuffins to issue such challenges to one another. If one was successful in leaving the sanctuary with the Bible, it would dematerialize and reappear in its place on the altar.

♦ Paranormal experts found that a former sex club owned by a Metro police officer was a vortex of psychic energy.

♦ A grisly slaughter ritual explains the sweet taste of goat barbecue at a local eatery.

♦ The Doric Lodge behind Friedman’s is the site of diabolical necromancy with séances held nightly.

♦ A population of homeless vagrants has been introduced into the Hillsboro Village area to stem the influx of craven yuppies.

♦ There is a mummified corpse in the attic of an Eighth Avenue former massage parlor. Does he haunt the establishment?

♦ A local girl explodes like an overcooked weiner in a delayed reaction to tanning bed overexposure.

♦ An illegal alien wrapped in a newspaper cocoon proclaims, “I live like Fred MacMurray on 19 cents a day.”

♦ Handwriting analysts, school psychologists, and demonologists working together determined that the 345 pentagrams scrawled on a local high schooler’s notebook were simply doodles and not evidence of satanic activity.

—By Chris Davis and Dave Cloud

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