Professor Al Gore began his midstate teaching career last week, and while he reportedly enjoyed lecturing, he was annoyed at a few of the students' inquiries. Here were some of the more irritating questions and comments Professor Gore fielded:

♦ What's a lockbox?

♦ How does the Electoral College work again?

♦ I meant to mark "B" on the quiz, but my contacts were bothering me and I marked "C" instead. Can you change my grade?

♦ If you invented the Internet, then why does this class

♦ Professor Gore, I know I got the answer wrong, but I wish you would stop sighing

♦ No wonder you lost, you incredibly boring, pretentious bastard

♦ Excuse me, Mr. Gore, but I meant to sign up for Professor Buchanan's class

♦ Can I write my paper on Ralph Nader?

♦ So what did you steal from the Oval Office?

♦ I got your pardon right here, professor

♦ How in the world did you lose all three debates to that Bush guy anyway?

♦ Can you teach my girlfriend and me how to suck face like you and Tipper?

♦ While we're on the subject of the Love Canal, my stepdad's farm is really a mess. Can you give us all a hand this weekend?

♦ So how are you and Bill Clinton getting along these days?

♦ Professor Gore, I just realized something. You'd be, like, president, you know, if you had just won your home state

♦ Go Vols!

♦ Professor Gore, here's a funny story: My grandmother lives in Palm Beach and hates Pat Buchanan, but she got kind of confused by that butterfly ballot and thinks she might have voted for the guy. Small world, ain't it?


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