Attention car fans! The Nashville International Auto & Truck Show comes to town this weekend, and you will get a chance to see the latest advances in automotive technology and design. Unfortunately, it seems most nameplates spent their entire budgets on engineering, leaving nothing for marketing and us with the following poorly named vehicles. Get out of my dreams, get into my...

♦ Hyundai Rustout

♦ Cadillac Pimpride

♦ Chrysler Ass Hauler

♦ Volvo Recall

♦ Toyota Tow-In

♦ Geo Casketmobile

♦ Jaguar Sticker Shock

♦ Lexus Dent Magnet


♦ Audi Doody Time

♦ Chevy Up-on-Blocks

♦ Subaru Clown Wagon

♦ Pontiac Whiplash

♦ Mazda Motionsick

♦ Nissan Ditch Finder

♦ Fiat Corpsemaker

♦ Buick Roadkiller

♦ Dodge Try-and-Park-It

♦ Mercury Gridlock

♦ Mercedes Dieselicious

♦ Porsche Impotence Implier

♦ Range Rover On-Roader

♦ Oldsmobile Pigeon Target

♦ Nissan Crumple Zone

♦ Volkswagen Dung Beetle

♦ Acura Velva

♦ Saab Depreciation

♦ Lincoln Incontinental

♦ Ford Pinto II

—by Jonathan Harwell Jr.


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