List
Bread crumbs, oysters, and eggs may suit some people for their Thanksgiving turkey stuffing, but many people want their bird stuffed with unusual ingredients. Here are some of those stuffers and the people who like them:
♦ Butterfly ballots and Dr. Peterson’s Boil-Off—George W. Bush
♦ Hanging chads and Rogaine—Al Gore
♦ Cigars—Monica Lewinsky
♦ Another turkey—Rush Limbaugh
♦ Rick Lazio—Hillary Clinton
♦ Earl—Dixie Chicks
♦ Roy—Siegfried
♦ Mark Brunell—Jevon Kearse
♦ Tiny bubbles—Don Ho
♦ An FTD bouquet—Merlin Olsen
♦ “S’all right”—Señor Wences
♦ An ether-soaked rag—Dr. Kevorkian
♦ Fermented maize—George Jones
♦ Asbestos—Buck Dozier
♦ Deadly vipers and an irascible scorpion—that crocodile hunter guy
♦ Dude, like, a giant brownie or something—Dead Heads
♦ Whatever “the Club” normally provides plus some collagen—West Nashvillians
♦ An extra magazine of Teflon-coated bullets—Charlton Heston
♦ Viagra—sad Uncle Pete
♦ No comment—Bill Purcell
—By Jonathan Harwell Jr.
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