The campaign story of days gone by about the elder George Bush never having seen a grocery scanner was, we now know, somewhat skewed. Something about reporters not getting the facts straight. Oh well, it made for a good laugh anyway. But it’s fair to say governors and vice presidents don’t live the same kind of lives the rest of us do. Former Tennessee Gov. Lamar Alexander once quoted another has-been politician as saying that the trouble with being a former governor is that you keep bumping into doors. Given that truth, there are some things the current presidential candidates are bound not to know or understand, although we wish they did. Here are a few:

♦ The serenity of jogging solo

♦ The thrill of telling a phone solicitor to ‘go to hell’

♦ The frustration of being delayed in a holding pattern above Opryland Hotel

♦ God forbid, what it’s like to have a real job

♦ The humiliation of being rejected for a Target credit card

♦ How hard it is to find a dishwasher detergent that will take lipstick off of coffee cups

♦ The embarrassment of buying their own boxes of condoms (or tampons, for that matter)

♦ Stopping for red lights

♦ Having to pick up their own restaurant tabs

♦ What it’s like to be parked on the interstate looking at the back of a state trooper on a motorcycle (waiting for presidential candidates to finish bringing the city to a screeching halt)

♦ How it feels to leave the house unaccompanied by lots of people with guns


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