List
The Metro Schools coordinator of literature recently released this year’s summer reading lists, and what was he thinking? While many of the books represent quality educational reading, some of the new selections seem in poor taste, if not downright destructive. Here are some of the most ill-advised tomes:
♦ A Tale of Two Buddies: The Ebsen and Hackett Story
♦ We Put Snoopy to Sleep, Charlie Brown
♦ Harry Potter and the Magical Herbal Ecstasy Trip
♦ Tantric Suspenders—A Sex-Help Book by Larry King
♦ Steal This Book...And Then Burn Down the Store!
♦ The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of the Brassiere Hooks
♦ Romeo and Juliet and Juliet’s Friend Tanya
♦ Peer Pressure: Gateway to Fun
♦ Baseball!!! And Other Things I Like to Hit with a Bat by George Will
♦ I Got Grounded for Drinking and Partying with College Guys and How It Was Totally Worth It by Judy Blume
♦ The Pop-That-Zit Book of Home Dermatology
♦ Charles Darwin—That Blasphemous Cretin
♦ As I Lay Dying of Thirst after Smoking Too Much Weed
♦ How to Win Friends, Influence People, and Then, When They Least Expect It, Manipulate Them Solely for Your Gain
♦ The Babysitters’ Club and What They Did for ’NSync Tickets
♦ 101 Ways Movies Rule and Books Are a Bore
♦ Paternity: The Test You Really Do Want to Flunk
♦ Good Luck Getting Into College, Idiot!
♦ Deadly Infections Caused by Paper Cuts and Printer’s Ink
♦ The Puberty That Never Happened
—Jonathan Harwell Jr.
