List
Thanks in part to Tennessee State University astronomer Greg Henry, new planets have recently been discovered. The names for these newly recognized solar bodies (HD222582, Iota Horologii, etc.) lack the punch of the original nine, mostly named after Roman gods. Telescope jockeys, how about naming subsequent finds after who and what we esteem today? Here are some suggestions:
♦ Greenspandom
♦ Starbuck’s Franchise #1102527
♦ Who Wants to Be a Planet?
♦ The Gaylord Entertainment Planet
♦ Elvis Has Left the Planet
♦ E.T. Phone Here
♦ Terra NASCAR
♦ Leonardo DiOrbito
♦ Battlestar Flat Taxica
♦ The Tae-bo Zone
♦ Eddie Georgia
♦ Stone Cold Steve Planet
♦ Viagra Falls
♦ Gas Giant Rush Limbaugh
♦ South Park: Bigger, Rounder, and in Space
♦ Tim McGraw’s Big Hat Biosphere
♦ amazon.com/planet
♦ 36DD
♦ The Rolling Stone
♦ Ricky Martin’s Ass
♦ Martha Stewart’s Bric-a-Brac Death Star
♦ Howard Stern’s Lesbian Orby
♦ Not Planet Hollywood
♦ The Britney Sphere
♦ SUVenus
♦ Gap for Aliens
♦ Oprahoma
—By Jonathan Harwell Jr
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