List
Remember those little Valentine candies you used to get as a kid—those chalky, multi-colored hearts with expressions such as ”Be mine“ or ”Sweet on you.“ Well, they’re still around, but some of this year’s batch are being recalled due to their less-than-romantic Valentine wishes. Here’s a sampling:
♦ ”Want Herpes?“
♦ ”Prenuptially Yours“
♦ ”I Told You So“
♦ ”What Smells?!“
♦ ”Let’s Play Intern“
♦ ”Sorry Stumpy, Size Matters“
♦ ”It Looks Doubtful“
♦ ”You’re on My Hair!“
♦ ”For My Sweaty“
♦ ”Slow Down, Cowboy“
♦ ”Loaded With Viagra“
♦ ”Threesome?“
♦ ”Let’s Be Co-dependent“
♦ ”With Stalker Love“
♦ ”Bite Me!“
♦ ”Don’t Go There, Girlfriend“
♦ ”Drop Some Pounds“
♦ ”No Tongue“
♦ ”Cash or Check?“
♦ ”You’re My 3rd Choice“
♦ ”Enjoy the Cavities“
♦ ”Let’s Just Be Friends“
♦ ”Suuuuuu-ey!“
♦ ”Put That Thing Away“
♦ ”Vote Bush“
— by Jonathan Harwell Jr.
