List 

Remember those little Valentine candies you used to get as a kid—those chalky, multi-colored hearts with expressions such as ”Be mine“ or ”Sweet on you.“ Well, they’re still around, but some of this year’s batch are being recalled due to their less-than-romantic Valentine wishes. Here’s a sampling:

♦ ”Want Herpes?“

♦ ”Prenuptially Yours“

♦ ”I Told You So“

♦ ”What Smells?!“

♦ ”Let’s Play Intern“

♦ ”Sorry Stumpy, Size Matters“

♦ ”It Looks Doubtful“

♦ ”You’re on My Hair!“

♦ ”For My Sweaty“

♦ ”Slow Down, Cowboy“

♦ ”Loaded With Viagra“

♦ ”Threesome?“

♦ ”Let’s Be Co-dependent“

♦ ”With Stalker Love“

♦ ”Bite Me!“

♦ ”Don’t Go There, Girlfriend“

♦ ”Drop Some Pounds“

♦ ”No Tongue“

♦ ”Cash or Check?“

♦ ”You’re My 3rd Choice“

♦ ”Enjoy the Cavities“

♦ ”Let’s Just Be Friends“

♦ ”Suuuuuu-ey!“

♦ ”Put That Thing Away“

♦ ”Vote Bush“

— by Jonathan Harwell Jr.

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