On the cover photo of her autobiography Chocolate, Please: "The only way I can get next to a really hot black guy is to hire them to be on photo shoots with me. I've gotta get my groove back too!" On Donald Trump, her least favorite roastmaster ever: "He was so patently unfunny and awful that it set this really creepy tone for the whole event. He just had no jokes. He'd be, 'This person's lousy! This person's awful!' You're rich enough to hire some people to write for you! Ugh, get some stage presence, douche." On how her in-the-works Broadway show will in no way recall Elaine Stritch: "That self-serious fuckin' bullshit and her, at her age, wearing tights and a big, oversize white shirt? I think not." And just think, that's all before the outspoken Queen of Mean gets a mic in her hand.
Fri., June 26, 8 p.m., 2009