Why does Tom Tomorrow hate America? Yes, that chardonnay-sipping, hybrid-driving cartoonist is at it again. Why hasn't the creator of "This Modern World" been stopped? Why is it legal for him to claim that free speech is endangered in America? Don't talk to me about the First Amendment. When God dictated the Constitution to him in a revelation, George Washington did not know that one day lesbians would have their own talk shows.
In his latest assault against decency, Tomorrow has published The Future's So Bright I Can't Bear to Look (Nation Books), which actually expects people to shell out $16.95 of their hard-earned money to be exposed to 154 pages of anti-American filth. Clearly Tomorrow's target audience is liberals and pansies and other atheists. And it's such a downer reading this book. Tomorrow doesn't like disinformation or corporate welfare; he doesn't like torture or concentration camps; he doesn't like collateral damage in war. Blah blah blah. What the hell does Tom Tomorrow like?
Why, the man can't even draw. You call this cartooning? At least in "Family Circus" the figures move around. And where are the jokes? Here's an example of a Tom Tomorrow joke: When George W. Bush declares in early 2007 his commitment to winning rather than losing, Iran's President Mamoud Ahmadinejad responds to this courageous leadership by immediately surrendering, explaining, "It was all a silly misunderstanding! You see, in Farsi, the phrase for 'nuclear weapons program' is phonetically very similar to the phrase for 'delicious pastry treats!' " Why is that funny? Elsewhere, Tomorrow imagines America as a car racing off a cliff, with the driver insisting that A) he has a map and B) there's no cliff. That's treason, plain and simple.
Naturally Tomorrow received the Robert F. Kennedy Award for Excellence in Journalism (twice, no less), which tells you all you need to know about the state of the liberal media. Who, after all, prints these so-called cartoons? Mostly throwaway rags you can pick up for free. Here's Tom Tomorrow's website so you can block your kids from going there and getting their minds poisoned by skepticism: thismodernworld.com.
Always an enemy of traditional American values, this secular, ethnic girly boy even implies that there's something bad about a war that helped the American economy by funneling billions of dollars into the munitions and mortuaries sector, as well as building jobs in flag distribution. And another thing: Here in the most religious nation west of Iran, God is our co-pilot and superhero and stuff, but where is God in this book? Listen to me: God is not in this book. It's a godless book.
Thanks to terrorists such as Tom Tomorrow, this country is going all to hell. We have to get it back on track by making everybody shut up except white guys on talk radio. We don't have any time to waste, America. Already there's a colored man walking around in the White House without a mop.
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