While any large-scale gathering of ugly Americans is inevitably riddled with obnoxious and inconsiderate idiots, Bonnaroo patrons are — by and large — a pretty pleasant bunch. That said, there are varieties of bad apples who annually descend on Manchester to test the collective tolerance. Don't be one of them.
• Don't be that person yelling "BONNAROOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" every eight seconds. Doing this is the 'Roo equivalent of yelling "Freebird" at a band — please don't do that either.
• Don't be that person getting Tased by the cops. For one weekend a year, Middle Tennessee has a magical bubble where people can all but smoke grass in plain sight of police on horseback. Don't fuck that up for the rest of us by actin' a fool.
• Don't be that person pestering Conan. This is how you get Tased.
• Don't be that person pissing in middle of the crowd. Either suck it up and use the port-a-johns, learn how to evacuate into an empty water bottle without spillage. Or stay home.
• Don't be that person asking randos for free drugs. If you can afford to spend $250 to rock out to Phoenix in your underwear, you can afford to pay for your own mushrooms.
• Don't be that person selling fake drugs. Nothing's worse than wandering around Centeroo at 4 a.m. wondering if it's kicked in yet. Plus, NO ONE should have to endure The DMB while sober. Selling fake drugs should be a crime.
• Don't be that couple bumpin' uglies in plain view of others. You brought a tent for a reason. ... You did bring a tent, didn't you?
• Don't be that person who leaves your car running overnight for the sole purpose of sleeping with A.C. on. This shouldn't even have to be explained.
• Don't be that person not having fun.
@White Sharpton: You've just been punched by an angry six-foot, four-inch, two hundred and eighty…
What's wrong, Diatribean? Has McMullen got your tongue?
So you can't pistol whip somebody? Tase somebody? Pepper spray? No baton? No Ju Jitsu?…
Ferguson Cop - "Bring it, bring it - YOU FUCKING ANIMALS - bring it." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuF-VPAnvE0…
There's a funny/poignant video on YouTube that might be Miss Gruntled's theme song.