Gaylord Hires Iraqi Information Minister for P.R. Job 

Gaylord Hires Iraqi Information Minister for P.R. Job

Gaylord Hires Iraqi Information Minister for P.R. Job

Mohammed Said Sahaf, the beret-wearing Iraqi information minister who has become known worldwide for his ability to tell blatant and obvious falsehoods with a straight face, has been sponsored for resettlement in the U.S. by Nashville’s Gaylord Entertainment Corp.

“It’s up to Americans, as the liberators of the Iraqi people, to help them get on their own two feet, and we just really like this guy’s style,” says Gaylord president Colin Reed.

Sahaf’s eerie ability to deny reality reached its high point in the final days before the fall of Baghdad, when he gave interviews with the international press denying that any American troops were in the capital while the gunfire of the allegedly nonexistent troops almost drowned out his words.

“He probably wouldn’t use the word, but that really showed chutzpah,” Reed says admiringly.

Other Nashville P.R. executives were openly envious of Gaylord’s coup.

“We were in talks with him, but I guess we didn’t have the ability to promise him lots of camera time the way Gaylord does,” says Simone Amorral, owner of Amorral Public Relations. “I wish him the best, though.”

If the U.S. State Department approves Gaylord’s request to have Sahaf settle in Nashville, he would probably serve an intense period of training in the company’s P.R. department before performing any duties as a company spokesman.

“He needs some time to settle in, find a house, find a good dry cleaner for his berets,” Reed says. “And he needs to learn the ways of American corporate P.R., since his experience has been completely in the governmental sphere.

“But when he’s ready to go, I can’t wait to see him work. I never want us to have bad news, but this is definitely the guy I want talking to the press after we release a bad financial statement or have a bunch of people get food poisoning at one of our hotel buffets. Any flack can run out in front of the press and deliver good and truthful news. It’s a real pro who can put the spin on events like he did.”

(The Fabricator is satire. Don’t believe everything you read.)

“But when he’s ready to go, I can’t wait to see him work. I never want us to have bad news, but this is definitely the guy I want talking to the press after we release a bad financial statement or have a bunch of people get food poisoning at one of our hotel buffets. Any flack can run out in front of the press and deliver good and truthful news. It’s a real pro who can put the spin on events like he did.”

(The Fabricator is satire. Don’t believe everything you read.)

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