Fit Like Dick Postponed Yet Again
Cheney’s fitness book timing “still not right”
Fit Like Dick, the diet and exercise book written by Vice President Dick Cheney, has had its release postponed yet again in the face of its author’s continuing health problems.
The book, to be published by Nashville-based Thomas Nelson Publishers, was originally scheduled for release in 2000.
“Every time it seems like we’re going to be able to put the book out, some other health crisis comes up,” one Thomas Nelson executive laments. “And it’s too bad, because the book is full of useful health tips.”
The publisher had tentatively scheduled the book, subtitled A Guide to Fitness for the Busy and Stressed, for October to take advantage of the holiday and New Year’s fitness market, but Cheney’s surgery on both legs to remove aneurysms behind his knees has halted that plan.
“The timing is still just not right,” the publishing executive says.
The long-delayed book was postponed for the first time after Cheney had his fourth heart attack in 2000. It has been held twice more due to health concerns, and once so its release wouldn’t coincide with an election year, when campaigning would cut into Cheney’s ability to do an extensive book tour.
According to earlier reports from a source who’s seen the book’s galleys, Cheney draws on his experiences in Congress, as defense secretary during the Gulf War, and as a Halliburton executive to illustrate the benefits of a balanced diet, exercise and a proper mental attitude. “I would often direct bombing raids against Saddam while walking on my treadmill at the Pentagon, sometimes munching on a low-fat turkey sandwich,” Cheney writes. “And I negotiated my severance package from Halliburton while enjoying a lean-beef pita wrap.”
The book also reportedly contains a recipe section, with low-cal favorites such as “Baghdad Burgers” (lean ground beef charred over burning coals), “The Istanbul Grill” (a turkey burger) and “Scud Spuds” (baked potatoes slathered with hot sauce).
The Thomas Nelson executive remains hopeful about the eventual release of the book.
“We will bring out Fit Like Dick, and it will sell very well. We just need to get him healthy enough.”
(The Fabricator is satire. Don’t believe everything you read.)
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