Creating the perfect Valentine's mix tape
by D. Patrick Rodgers
The art of mix tape construction is one that has been debated, analyzed, deconstructed and written about since the day the first caveman held his tape recorder up to his boombox. Of all the incarnations of the mix, perhaps the most elusive and challenging is the romantic mix. Especially the Valentine's Day mix. A lot is riding on this, pal.
Whether your intention is an innocent, thoughtful gesture (the mix tape as a gift) or something decidedly more libidinous, one false move can effectively doom a burgeoning relationship, forever sealing your fate as the guy who tried to get to second base while listening to Bone Thugs-n-Harmony. Some important guidelines must be followed:
• Unless you want what could have been a steamy and successful Valentine's date to consummate in a giggle fit, avoid (AT ALL COSTS) anything tender-core. The plague commonly referred to as the "piano ballad" infests the catalogues of many otherwise acceptable V-Day mix candidates. From Aimee Mann to Wilco to even The Beatles ("The Long and Winding Road," anyone?), there's no more surefire way to end up spending the night alone than to get overtly sentimental.
That said, it is entirely possible to be sentimental without looking like a sap. Think ELO's "Strange Magic." Think The Zombies' "This Will Be Our Year." Think anything by Roy Orbison—except "In Dreams," of course. You don't want your date thinking you're about to go all Blue Velvet on her, switching on the Dennis Hopper crazy eyes and babbling about "the candy-colored clown they call the sandman."
• Soul always works: Aretha Franklin, Curtis Mayfield, Al Green. Stevie Wonder is a good choice, but "Isn't She Lovely" is commonly misappropriated as a romantic number. It's not. There's nothing creepier than giving your girl a backrub to a song about a blind genius' infant daughter.
Marvin Gaye, though predictable, is a safe bet. Anything but "Let's Get It On," that is. That just says you aren't even trying. That's like picking somebody's Christmas present off the CD rack at Starbucks.
• Protopunk and glam are strong options. T. Rex and Bowie practically do all the work for you. Put on a song from Electric Warrior or The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and somebody's pants are coming off. Trust me.
After that, feel free to delve into any genre that tickles your fancy. Good jazz, smooth hip-hop and only the finest traditional country are highly recommended. Whatever you put on your sweetheart's Valentine's mix—whether you're an adult-contempo nut or a combat-booted punk—there's but one important rule: Put some thought into it. What really matters to your significant other is that you were thinking of them as you composed your sonic love letter. The mix tape/CD/playlist will always be a miraculously powerful tool. A tool that also happens to be beautifully cheap. Use it.
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