Colonoscopy for Hire
Like a lawn or laundry service—only with laxatives
Nobody rates having a colonoscopy as a favorite experience, however painless or potentially lifesaving the procedure may be.
“People especially hate the prep part,” says Paul McNamee, referring to the half-day spent in the bathroom cleaning out the colon so a physician can examine it via a lighted camera for signs of cancer. “But even though most people are sedated while it’s going on, they also just hate the idea of the colonoscopy—the whole anal probe thing.”
McNamee has spent a lot of time thinking about colonoscopies because he has built a business model around helping people avoid getting one—for a price.
“Our company is called Colonoscopy Surrogates Inc. We’re the other CSI,” he jokes. “And what we offer is the convenience and comfort of paying somebody else to have your colonoscopy for you.”
Customers scheduled for a colonoscopy simply contact the company, located in a renovated bungalow in the 12 South neighborhood, and one of McNamee’s trained “colonoscopy surrogates” will arrange to have the colonoscopy instead.
“We’re sort of like a lawn service or a laundry service,” says McNamee, who graduated two years ago with an MTSU business degree. “For a price, we’ll do something unpleasant that you’d rather not do yourself.”
“It was money well spent,” one customer says of the $500-plus colonoscopy cost fee. “My doctor had been barking at me for a couple of years to have this done, and with one call these guys sent somebody in my place. Now I have peace of mind, without the laxative fest.”
McNamee recruits most of his employees, who are paid $250 for each procedure. Some are recent college graduates while others are people just looking to make some extra money on the side.
“In this tough economy, it’s really not that hard to find people who are willing to have frequent colonoscopies for cash,” he says. “There are worse ways to earn a living. They have really clean colons.”
