Clement vs. Alexander
We’re not exactly sure who’s right, wrong or out to lunch on this one, but we have hunches and we’re sure we’re opposed to it.
We think it merits no news coverage whatsoever, but we’re writing about it anyway, for much the same reason that humans often slow down their cars when passing a really bad auto accident so that they might marvel at so much carnage.
The pileup begins at the members-only Nashville City Club high atop downtown Nashville, where the campaigns of Bob Clement and Lamar Alexander had dispatched their respective emissaries last week to negotiate their plans for debates. (Republican Alexander is facing Democrat Clement for the U.S. Senate.) We know this because of the press release later produced by the Clement campaign that documented, blow-by-blow, how the meeting went. We certainly thank them for thinking of us, but wish they'd have considered the paper shortage instead.
Notwithstanding the fact that the Senate race in which Clement and Alexander find themselves might involve discussion regarding the war on terrorism, corporate fraud, prescription drug benefits for senior citizens or the environmental talks under way in Johannesburg, the first paragraph of the previously mentioned press release went with the breaking story of the debate conference having “ended abruptly when Alexander representatives refused to negotiate the details of any debates.”
A nation cries out in anguish.
According to the Clement hacks, the Alexander emissary—a usually agreeable if occasionally cheesy fellow by the name of Chip Saltsman—“arrived at the meeting apparently without the authority or will to negotiate.” The tragedy was compounded by the fact that—according to the Clement release—Saltsman told Fletcher that the Alexander campaign “would only negotiate with debate sponsors, not the Clement campaign, as originally arranged between the Alexander and Clement camps.”
In fact, the release breathlessly continued, Saltsman “specifically refused to discuss a debate offer from the American Association of Retired Persons and a debate proffer from NBC’s Meet the Press, both of which have been accepted by Clement’s team but not by Alexander.” By inference, we suppose that means Alexander despises old people and thinks Tim Russert’s head is far too large to share a room with.
Let it be said, however, that on the critical issues of the day—Did Fletcher have the buffet? Did Saltsman order off the menu?—the release was utterly nonforthcoming.
There sure is a lot of debate nonsense going on in the Senate race. It began as soon as Clement received his party’s nomination. To our eyes, it bears the imprimatur of Democratic operative Bill Fletcher, who loves a procedural fistfight wherever he can pick one.
Briefly, let us lay it out for you, the dear reader: Lamar Alexander has more intellectual stamina than Bob Clement ever will. Increasingly, that appears to hold true for the campaigns’ staffs as well.
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