Big Ideas for Little People
Gov. Phil gets all giddy over 28 new jobs in Franklin. Meanwhile, Larry the Cucumber teaches kids about the joys of owning an SUV.
by John Spragens
Sunday morning values, Saturday morning fun."
With a slogan like that, you can bet your Land Cruiser that Big Idea Inc. will be a good fit for Williamson County. That's why it made front-page news Wednesday when the "producer of value-based consumer entertainment products with a Christian theme" announced it was moving its 20 employees from Lombard, Ill., to Franklin, Tenn. Indeed, none other than Phil Bredesen himself trouped out to the state's wealthiest cluster of zip codes to praise the deal, citing "a growing interest in developing family entertainment in the Franklin area."
Other dignitaries—including Franklin's mayor, the state Economic and Community Development commish, a stuffed shirt from the Nashville Chamber of Commerce and the executive director of the Tennessee Film, Entertainment and Music Commission—piled on praise. "We look forward to welcoming Bob and Larry and the rest of the VeggieTales family!" an overexcited Mayor Thomas Miller said in a press release from the governor's office.
In fact, everybody seemed a little too worked up about the move. Not too long ago, Big Idea was bankrupt. At one point, it had 200 employees; now it's bringing 20 to Franklin, with a promise to add eight to 10 more. Hardly an affair worth stopping the presses for.
But some folks—film folks, to be precise—say all the back-slapping's going on because this relocation could prompt a wave of film and entertainment development in Middle Tennessee. "Big Idea, I think, is at the forefront of a big wave that's rolling down here. I know of a lot of talk," said David Bennett of the Film, Entertainment and Music Commission. First come Bob and Larry, then Spielberg and Lucas—or so the theory goes.
But if "family-oriented" is going to be the official motto of our neighbors to the south, they should at least know what they're getting.
First, Big Idea is a company that says it "will not exist merely to profit." Indeed, the folks at Big Idea put "people first, products second [and] profits third." Of course, the company laid off 90 percent of its employees. But at least Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber are still gainfully employed.
OK, so the company masks typical business practices behind Christian values-oriented rhetoric—not a bad fit for Williamson thus far. They also do some subtle indoctrinating into the free-market industrial mode of production. Take "The Eggsperts" (yes, it sounds dirty to me too), VeggieTales' online game, in which Bob and Larry are lowly proletarians assigned the task of channeling chicken eggs safely down pathways into moving assembly-line buckets below. These alienated veggi-laborers—whose menial function in life is to pull levers—get scolded by the Henry Ford-like taskmaster every time an unborn chicken fetus hits the floor. I don't know if they get a chance at middle management, since I didn't successfully make it past Level 2. But you can give it a try yourself at www.bigideafun.com/veggietales/arcade/eggsperts/default.htm. Just don't piss off the Southern-fried boss—"Those eggs awh comin' outta yo' paycheck!"
Capitalism it is, then, for these God-fearing, egg-producing pieces of produce. But the final touch of Williamsonism, shall we call it, for VeggieTales is the "2004 Preview" page of the company's Web site. There, right before Sumo of the Opera (" 'Rocky' meets 'The Mikado' meets professional wrestling—with a biblical lesson to boot!"), it advertises Larry the Cucumber's "latest masterpiece, in which he sings about the joys of owning an SUV!" (I'm not making this up, Veggie fans. You can read it yourself at www.bigidea.com/company/news/2004_preview.htm. Then watch a music video clip at www.bigidea.com/videos/veggietales/vt022/clip04.htm.)
Where in Christ's teachings the subject of SUV ownership can be found I'm not sure. (I think it was the beatitude that began with, "Blessed are the smogmakers..." and ended with an exclamation point.) But something tells me Big Idea's going to feel right at home down in Nashville's wealthiest 'burbs. It's more than a good business relationship—it's an immaculate conception.
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