Let me offer you a hand up from the nethermost rung of hell that is CiCi's Pizza, where the damned endlessly circle a buffet line of empty trays while their 10-year-olds water the windowsill with Sierra Mist. Every Tuesday night at Chick-fil-A, the most guiltless fast-food experience going gets even better, offering a four-piece kids' nugget box plus waffle fries plus CFA's killer lemonade for just $1.49. (And for dessert you can trade in CFA's optimistically educational toys for a kids' ice-cream cone.) I can't explain it, but it just tastes like the people working there give a damn. And Tuesdays are a cheerful madhouse of balloon animals, wandering clowns and boisterous kids. Stay far away if you're single, not disposed toward kids, put off by that vague Focus on the Family vibe, or grossed out by a manager issuing an update on that smudge in the play area: "Not to worry, folks—it's only a brownie." —JIM RIDLEY