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This week, Al Gore gave the first of three fall lectures he has planned at MTSU. The former vice president spoke about global warming, though his next two talks are “aimed at launching a national discussion regarding the vigor of America’s democracy,” a press release states. Gore is expected to touch on the herd of Democratic presidential candidates, which includes his 2000 running mate Joe Lieberman. Here are excerpts from his drafted speech that aides are expected to excise:

♦ “I’m very interested in launching a discussion about the vigor of American democracy. First, let’s go back to what happened in Florida, just a few years ago.”

♦ “I think that, if nominated, Howard Dean has an excellent chance of carrying at least four states.”

♦ “That Kerry guy makes me look like Bernie Mac.”

♦ “I invented TiVo.”

♦ “Interestingly enough, the movie Gigli was based on my relationship with Tipper.”

♦ “Many people ask me if I’m bitter that Clinton’s scandal-plagued presidency, including his totally inappropriate relationship with a White House intern and all sorts of other things too numerous to count—including, don’t forget, that rape accusation, the whole fundraising mess and his wife’s inane health care plan—cost me, a diligent, loyal and fundamentally honest public servant, a chance to be president of the United States of America. The answer is no.”

♦ “Clark’s stance on the war on Iraq depends on who he’s talking to. He’s my kind of guy.”

♦ “My former running mate, Joe Lieberman, is dubious on affirmative action, very pro-war, pro-Israel, pro-business and anti-left wing. Where all that great thinking was when he was on my ticket, I have no idea.”

♦ “Many critics say that I have trouble relating to the average voter. That’s nonsense. Now, let me move on to my next topic: Why we should ban the internal combustion engine.”

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