A List
In a painful campaign to recruit young readers, The Tennessean recently ran a review of some of the city’s “way cool clubs and restaurants.” This follows last month’s effort, “Crashin’ Da Clubs,” featuring area dance spots. Making references to fading television shows and a movie from the mid-’90s, here are some of the paper’s descriptions of the city’s edgier restaurants, along with a few lines that we flat-out made up. Can you tell the difference?
A) Let’s get ready to rummmble at Rumba.
B) This is the newest, hippest place in town, so that brings out the beautiful babies....
C) Yup, Chapel Bistro had some beautiful babies.
D) Where’s the beef? Here it is, at P.F. Chang’s.
E) If you want some hot stuff babies this evening, if you want some hot stuff babies tonight, The Bound’ry, located on 911 20th Ave. S., is the place to be.
F) The atmosphere was laid-back but live with honeys. But where were the boys? Hot girls, not hot boys...hmm
G) Wearing tight leather miniskirts and bare sandals exposing tattooed ankles, the women were—I’m going to coin a phrase here—to die for.
H) Out of all the spots on this list, Tribe was—I’m coining a term here—the flyest.
I) You got to shake some serious bling if you want to roll with the playas at Sperry’s.
J) C’mon, boys, ditch the Nautica and give the ladies something to look at. Ever heard of Kenneth Cole?
K) The vibe wasn’t swinging, but we didn’t care.
L) The Mojo was definitely grooving...and on the upside.
M) Who let the dogs out? The Baja Burrito men.
N) Too many people wearing Gap clothes. Hey guys, here’s a tip: It’s called Old Navy. Look into it.
O) They need to amp up the vibe a tab, and keep the honeys coming.
P) From now on, I’m getting my all-you-can-eat freak on at the Belle Meade Cafeteria.
The fake ones: D, E, G, I, L, M, N, P
