A List
University of Tennessee president John Shumaker resigned last week after a stream of front-page revelations surfaced about the booty-calling, nanny-importing state official. Shumaker—who managed to put not just his foot but an entire leg in his mouth, inch by painful inch—finally got the message from Gov. Phil Bredesen and threw in the Big Orange towel Friday morning. The Scene’s savvy political pundits watched the sordid hara-kiri unfold and developed a list of warning signs for anyone who thinks his or her job might be in danger:
♦ Liberian president Charles Taylor phones to say it’s time for you “to step down with dignity.”
♦ State Sen. Steve Cohen regards your public statements as embarrassing.
♦ Your application for a Kentucky marriage license (with your children’s Chinese nanny) was rejected on the grounds that “she can do better.”
♦ Channel 5’s Phil Williams won’t return your self-incriminating phone calls.
♦ You complain that your private airplane’s lavatory isn’t big enough for two, “if you know what I mean.”
♦ Mayor Bill Purcell has ever endorsed you.
♦ Action heroes, child stars and more than one prominent member of the porn industry have signed up to replace you.
♦ And people have signed their petitions.
♦ People write to say your column is lame even by Tennessean standards.
♦ Your predecessor’s former girlfriend interviews your ex-wife under an assumed name.
