As Fan Fair drew to a close last weekend, amid heavy rains and lingering gripes about its move downtown, organizers floated plans to energize the long-running event next year. While ideas like bringing in rock stars met with stuck-pig hollers, they’re still not as desperate as some schemes we’ve heard for sprucing up Fan Fair. Like these:
♦ Cork Vince Gill’s guitar.
♦ Raffle off Lee Greenwood.
♦ Host the first Dixie Chicks Invitational Skeet-Shoot.
♦ Rename the Grand Ole Opry the “Def Jam Hoedown.”
♦ Get Gov. Bredesen to pardon the Soggy Bottom Boys.
♦ Tack up a sign over Adelphia Coliseum that says “Parking for Bonnaroo.”
♦ Tape a 15-minute CMT special, The 100 Greatest Songs of Alt-Country.
♦ Offer shuttle service from the Country Music Hall of Fame to the World’s Largest Adult Bookstore.
♦ Two words: extreme yodeling.
♦ Celebrate the reissue of Live at San Quentin, the landmark country album by Martha Stewart.
♦ Stage “Celebrity Death Match” with Clay Walker vs. 50 Cent.
♦ Move it to Branson.
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