A List 

Don Sundquist isn’t through teeing off Tennessee. The (blessedly) former governor finagled a free pass to golf at all eight of Tennessee’s state courses—even after he closed state parks amid a budget crisis. But that’s not all. Recently, the Scene learned the gubernatorial bogeyman has apparently nailed down some other retirement perks:

♦ Free TennCare to his out-of-state relatives.

♦ Lifelong exemption from any future state income tax.

♦ Phil Valentine on retainer as mandatory caddy.

♦ An expense-paid weekly grocery run to Kentucky and Georgia, with free Powerball tickets.

♦ Highways paved at state expense to his retirement home. No, wait, that was while he was governor.

♦ A state park named after his wife. Oops—he already did that too.

♦ A stake in TDOT’s secret bullion reserve underneath Love Circle.

♦ A skybox at some cool new minor league ballpark in Alabama.

♦ An Opryland river taxi re-christened the S.S. Sundquist.

♦ A commemorative urinal at any I-840 rest stop.

♦ Backstage passes to Pigeon Forge’s Louise Mandrell Theater.

♦ A collection of tour jackets, coffee mugs and bumper stickers that read: “ ’Cause the ex-governor said so.”

♦ A T-shirt that says, “Blanton was underrated.”

♦ Enrollment in a Palm Springs witness-relocation program.

♦ A qualified successor.

♦ A pair of balls.

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Recent Comments

Sign Up! For the Scene's email newsletters





* required

All contents © 1995-2014 City Press LLC, 210 12th Ave. S., Ste. 100, Nashville, TN 37203. (615) 244-7989.
All rights reserved. No part of this service may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of City Press LLC,
except that an individual may download and/or forward articles via email to a reasonable number of recipients for personal, non-commercial purposes.
Powered by Foundation