A List
State House Speaker Jimmy Naifeh has been working overtime to get five additional votes for his proposed state income tax. But the Scene has learned negotiations broke down when the five demanded a list of impossible-to-get items, including:
♦ Extended raccoon hunting season in Humphreys County
♦ Two hours a day from the same guy who ran errands for Bill Covington
♦ Honorary membership certificates in the Tennessee Highway Patrol or Air National Guard—whichever
♦ Two University of Tennessee football sideline passes good for at least one week
♦ Permission to sit in the speaker’s chair on alternating Thursdays
♦ Autographed Ned McWherter speaker’s gavel
♦ Permanent bar stool with brass nameplate at Jimmy Kelly’s
♦ Donald Duck grapefruit juice, with additives, in all morning meetings
♦ Complimentary shoe shines
♦ Chairmanship of a newly formed subcommittee—no work involved but sounds good to voters anyway
♦ One lock of Drue Smith’s hair, may she rest in peace
♦ Joy ride to Memphis with state Sen. John Ford
♦ Some of that Phil Bredesen charisma
♦ Ronnie Steine crisis management consulting services
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