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News

“There shouldn’t be any books in this li-bary that I can’t read.”

Local sadist Abner Abernethy, who has enjoyed inflicting pain on others for more than two decades, learned last week that he would be forced to change some of this techniques, which, according to the new interpretation of U.S. law, aren’t actually considered torture.

By denying my toddler a fashionable playgroup, was I sending her on a downward spiral that would continue on through an assortment of Wrong Birthday Party Themes and Wrong Schools and culminate in her serving up Dilly Bars at a dingy Fentress County Dairy Queen?

Last Wednesday was a big day for The Tennessean’s newsroom staff. No, the Local News section wasn’t suddenly cured of anemia, and yes, widely detested managing editor Dave Green was still on duty in the building.

Music

Escape from a post-apocalyptic Christian fundamentalist landscape, filled with elusive enemies, violence and cryptic images of disillusionment—seems like the perfect inspiration for one of the most fun, catchy and insistent punk albums of the year, right?

Five seconds into Lucero’s fifth studio album, Rebels, Rogues & Sworn Brothers, the piano makes its first appearance and everything sounds different.

Self-conscious, mannerist and in love with a pop aesthetic that values disjunction and contrast above all, The Features seem to have picked the title of their latest EP with no little calculation.

Friday night’s Left Can Dance party at Ombi was their tentative last, as the sleek brunch/nightspot is slated for the fine-dining treatment, leaving the LCD crew, headed by Vandy DJs Courtney Wilder and Sam Patton, scrambling for a new location.

Long Island Shores is Mindy Smith’s follow-up to her 2004 debut, the acclaimed One Moment More, which has sold more than 250,000 copies—a remarkable number for an indie artist with little radio play.

Restaurants

Is “5” Chris Lowry and Jay Luther’s lucky number? The founders of Germantown Café at the corner of Fifth and Madison must think so.

Movies

No studio director was a greater hero to the Hong Kong new wave than Martin Scorsese. John Woo dedicated The Killer to him.

God is in the details no matter what you believe, but the documentary Jesus Camp is content to introduce its appalled exposé of Christian youth indoctrination with shots of a fast-food- and flag-lined highway and the words “Missouri, USA.” Welcome to hell, kids.

Arts and Culture

The two guys in San Francisco’s Two Gallants wish they were born in a different era. Their hardscrabble gold-rush folk-blues is about doing time for shooting guys on county lines, not updating MySpace profiles with digital pics from last night’s party.

If the jewelry in the “The Quest for Immortality: Treasures of Ancient Egypt” at the Frist merely whetted your appetite, you’re in luck.

“I remember everything” is the mantra of Molly Petree, the protagonist of Lee Smith’s latest novel, On Agate Hill. She says it with a mixture of pride and resignation.

The Nashville Ballet embarks on its 21st season this weekend. Artistic director Paul Vasterling’s experienced company kicks off the promising 2006-7 lineup with its intriguing Fall Series.

Eugene Ionesco’s Rhinoceros is brilliant—arguably the most accessible work in the often deliberately inaccessible genre known as Theater of the Absurd.

Special Issues

Contrary to popular belief, there is a fashion scene in Nashville—it’s just a little fractured.

Lest we incite the anti-cosmopolitan mob again, let us humbly state for the record that we never thought Nashville was the next hipster mecca à la Williamsburg or Silver Lake.

Dear Damian: My fiancé asks me to dress up and talk like Marcia Brady when we have sex. I feel dirty and degraded, but he insists that everyone is doing it. Is he a freak? Nikki at Nite

Nashville Ballet costume designers Rhiannon Guillet and Sandra Payne only started their clothing line, Magpie Apparel, last summer, but word of their unique designs has already spread among local fashionistas.

Old Archives

Police pulled over a vehicle at the corner of Broadway and 10th Avenue North and the front-seat passenger told cops “he would need to vomit.”

See if you can follow us.

OK, Sen. Frist, do you want to win some hearts and minds, which will come in handy during those early presidential primaries that you’re already eyeing?

On the demonization scale, it actually could be worse this week for Albert Haynesworth.

Plenty of congressmen and senators are grumbling, but Bill Frist has at least two Republican friends loyal enough to the majority leader—even as he retires from the Senate after 12 years in office—to break from long-standing tradition.

If you’ve spent any time in Murfreesboro’s rock scene, you’ve probably heard of Bingham Barnes, the booker, bassist, screen printer and all-around hell-of-a-guy who’s seemingly been tied to everything cool involving the indie rock scene since 1993.

Was there something deeper to Titan’s DT Albert Haynesworth’s conduct on the gridiron? Could it be a calculated political message for Democrats to stomp on a “Cowboy” (i.e., Bush) when he’s down, especially if his team is kicking ass on your home turf?

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