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Comment Archives: Stories: News: Vodka Yonic

Re: “On wanderlust, women, victim-blaming and vulnerability

Hi Cindy,
So great to hear from you! I remember you well. I just got a lovely note from Chris—we met her at that same dinner in Roncesvalles. I'm glad you had a great experience! —Kim

Posted by Kim Green on 11/27/2015 at 10:08 AM

Re: “On wanderlust, women, victim-blaming and vulnerability

I met you and your husband in Roncevalles at dinner. You kindly gave me a jar of Pilgrim cream for my aching feet and a pair of earrings. Thank you! I walked into Santiago on May 21!
For majority of my Camino I walked alone. I was uncomfortable only two times on the entire trip, and both times, my Internal Guidance System, or Intution, set off red flags. On those two occasions, I consciously walked with other Pilgrims in sight. For the rest of my journey, I enjoyed the peace and tranquility of long walks on my own, completely comfortable with my solitude. On most days, I never saw anyone else, Pilgrim or local.

My advice to females wanting to do this journey alone, or any other, is, DO IT. Set your Intentions and listen to your Intution.

As you said in your post, the Camino is one of the safest places I have ever felt.

Hugs to you and Hal!

Cindy aka, the Texan who soaks her feet in the bidet.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Cindy Arledge on 11/26/2015 at 9:20 PM

Re: “On wanderlust, women, victim-blaming and vulnerability

This is such a great post. So many people never leave because they think everything abroad is bound to be unsafe. I'm also over the "she brought it on herself"mentality.

MinaKamina, I think this essay is about how nowhere is safe, so we should make the most of it and NOT blame the victims, especially women. I'm sad the conversation has already backtracked to that. Having walked the Camino myself, I can honestly say that every part of the Camino felt incredibly safe, much more safe than my neighborhood at home. There are hundreds and thousands of blogs and websites and movies and media telling you that you will probably die if you do x, y, or z. You never know when something is going to happen, but perpetuating these fear narratives doesn't do anyone any good. I for one want to live my life to the fullest. I'm confident Denise, who left home to seek an incredible experience, would not want her legacy to be one of entrenched terror. That is not what she lived for, and it does not honor her if more women believe they should just stay home.

I also like the flying metaphor. Go, Kim! Another good one.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by rachelr on 11/25/2015 at 4:43 PM

Re: “On wanderlust, women, victim-blaming and vulnerability


I was looking for news about Denise Thiem and I found this blog
I would like my two cents about safety.

The area where Denise disappeared was very unsafe for women, especially pilgrims.
In 2014, two peregrinas were attacked on two separate occasions. One from China, the other from Germany.
The attacker was arrested for robbery with violence.
His case was filed provisionally and they let him go.
Not because the attacks with violence did not happen, but because the prosecutor saw insufficient grounds te persecute anyone for the crime.

No warning was given to pilgrims about attacks in the area and a violent robber on the loose.

The reports show that he became more violent with every (known) attack.

People, pilgrims should be OUTRAGED about this, but nothing is happening. Somehow no one wants to know.

2 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by MinaKamina on 11/25/2015 at 11:25 AM

Re: “What they don't tell you about trying to get pregnant, from cycle crashes to sex on demand

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Re: “What they don't tell you about trying to get pregnant, from cycle crashes to sex on demand

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Posted by JENEFER on 11/21/2015 at 12:50 AM

Re: “On why I remain a member of my church, even when we don't see eye to eye

I want to ask the author if she has taken out her endowment. If you have, how can you possibly believe that same sex marriage would ever be in God's plan? There are very clear things that would not work.

2 likes, 10 dislikes
Posted by Melissa Jensen on 11/20/2015 at 11:48 AM

Re: “On why I remain a member of my church, even when we don't see eye to eye

I understand why those that stay do, and I am grateful that they do. After all, with 70%+ of American LDS Christians being conservatives, there needs to be more of the unwelcome in the Church that one day all will be free to come unto Christ through the LDS Church. Thankfully, the Lord has set up other Churches. Of those churches that follow the Gospel of Jesus Christ but reject the man-made polices of the LDS Church, there is the Church of Jesus Christ in Christian Fellowship. Like the LDS Church, it is not perfect. Yet it is a place where all are welcome, even the sinners.

0 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Learn About Christ on 11/20/2015 at 7:46 AM

Re: “On why I remain a member of my church, even when we don't see eye to eye

Would you crack theologians please explain to me LDS doctrine re: divorce and the dogma's application with respect to Marie Osmond? (I realize that Marie Osmond and Steve Craig have remarried.)

Next, please compare/contrast the LDS-Marie Osmond consistency/ hypocrisy re: the church's stance on divorce with that of the Catholic church and the Kennedys. (Ted Kennedy's having received his first communion from Pope Pius XII seemed to set the stage for the Vatican granting Teddy's nephew, Joe Kennedy II's request that Joe's 12-year marriage to Sheila Rauch, the mother of his twin sons, be annulled.)

Thank you.

Stacy Harris
Publisher/Executive Editor/Media Critic
Stacy's Music Row Report

0 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by Stacy Harris on 11/19/2015 at 7:57 PM

Re: “On why I remain a member of my church, even when we don't see eye to eye


Can you point to one prophecy or other behavior of Thomas Monson that supports the notion that he "is a prophet of God"?

2 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by VaMan on 11/19/2015 at 6:14 PM

Re: “On why I remain a member of my church, even when we don't see eye to eye


I found some words you might be interested in from The Crucible of Doubt by Terryl Givens. This is from Brigham Young:

"I do not wish any Latter-day Saint in this world, nor in heaven, to be satisfied with anything I do, unless the Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ, the spirit of revelation, makes them satisfied. I wish them to know for themselves and understand for themselves...I am more afraid that this people have so much confidence in their leaders that they will not inquire for themselves of God whether they are led by him. I am fearful that they settle down in a state of blind self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God. Let every man and woman know, by the whispering of the Spirit of God to themselves, whether their leaders are walking in the path the Lord dictates or not."

10 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by rachelr on 11/19/2015 at 5:47 PM

Re: “On why I remain a member of my church, even when we don't see eye to eye

Dear Scifigal2k,

In my opinion, the only way God or the spirit etc. can work is through humans. Humans take missteps. We see this throughout our Mormon history, even from people we call inspired or prophets. We no longer live in times where we need a squeaky clean history to stay united. It gives me a great deal of peace to know church leaders are mortal, like me, with weaknesses, like me, because otherwise it would be pretty hard to reconcile church history with what I believe is truth.

Here are a few notable missteps from humans leading our church I can think of off the top of my head:

• The famous story about the manuscript Joseph lost for sharing it with Oliver Cowdrey (actually, reading Rough Stone Rolling by Bushman is a great source for understanding Joseph as an incredible but flawed man)
• The Mountain Meadow Massacre, where a stake president used his authority for group-think style murder
• Brigham Young taking the priesthood away from black members Joseph Smith ordained and the decades of talk about dark skin being a “curse” that followed his precedent
• The Church knocking on doors to tell people to vote against the ERA movement (equal rights for women amendment to the constitution)

Humans are supposed to make mistakes. It is how we grow and learn. Eternal progression. The purpose of life on earth. That is a thing we say we believe in.

I could make another list of changes the church has made to accommodate modern times. I don’t think making lists is helpful though. I don’t think it lends itself to the kind of unity I hope for in our church, the Zion-like community our people died to try to build. I don’t think it is up to me to change your mind. It is not up to you to change mine. I’m not looking for a social media shouting match, as I mention in the essay. I’m looking for humility. I’m looking for realness. I trust my personal inspiration and experiences and I’m letting that guide me while continuing to hold on to other truth claims I love about the church. I think this is what it looks like for me to reconcile with God within myself, as you recommend.

13 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by rachelr on 11/19/2015 at 5:35 PM

Re: “On why I remain a member of my church, even when we don't see eye to eye

The key question is, do you believe that President Monson is a prophet of God? That Christ directs His church? If so, then none of these are missteps. Rather, difficult doctrines that we need to turn to God to reconcile. You do not have the stewardship to tell the Brethren that what you feel in your heart is the will of God. It is their job to tell you. Then you work out with the Lord to reconcile it within yourself.

10 likes, 16 dislikes
Posted by Scifigal2k on 11/19/2015 at 4:15 PM

Re: “On why I remain a member of my church, even when we don't see eye to eye

Dear Californian,

I feel lucky to be part of the LDS church where we emphasize modern day, evolving revelation based on "light upon light, precept upon precept," and one that also believes in individual impressions and guidance based on experience. That brings me a lot of peace, because when I taught Gospel Doctrine last week, I could read passages such as the ones found in Collossians 3 where it says "wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord," and know we know better now. It continues in Colossians to say "Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh: not with eyeservice, as menpleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God." The Greek for servant is slave. It was a verse in the Bible used to justify slavery for centuries. The scriptures are full of things we continue to have modern clarification on. I also take comfort in knowing Christ is not quoted anywhere in Bible supporting this.

I also wonder if my church in particular might be more transparent about how murky truth-seeking and gospel doctrine can be, given the "a man and a woman" definition did not apply with polygamy, where there was clearly "a man" and "several women."

Maybe I don't understand, but maybe you don't understand, and maybe our human, fallible leaders sometimes don't understand. Joseph Smith would be the first to admit to it. We are both Mormons and love different aspects of our faith. We are in the struggle together, and we have to learn to listen and love each other and hope.

26 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by rachelr on 11/19/2015 at 9:33 AM

Re: “On why I remain a member of my church, even when we don't see eye to eye

You do not understand.

The church's teachings on marriage between a man and a woman are clear -- only marriage between a man and a woman is acceptable to God. We didn't make this doctrine up. It comes straight from the Bible. You know this, but it appears that you do not wish to accept it. I hope that I am wrong.

Placing a child in the position of having to choose between his family and his church would be a very horrible thing indeed. I have seen a situation similar to this and everyone suffered greatly - the Church, the parents and especially the child. Rather than inflict this suffering on an innocent, the church wisely asks that child to wait until he or she is old enough to make up their own mind.

The prophets of God you implicitly malign in your article have seen situations like the ones I saw over and over. They have experiences that you have not had. Would it not be wise to try to see the situation from their point of view and simply ask "what do they know that I don't?"

16 likes, 33 dislikes
Posted by Californian on 11/19/2015 at 8:41 AM

Re: “On my first cigarette, and smoking the pain of loss away

There's so much I understand about being in that place and also so little but you've managed to capture it beautifully in a way I could never articulate. Thank you for sharing this. This is the type of writing that I'm always craving but rarely ever fed.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by SandyJD on 11/12/2015 at 2:29 PM

Re: “Are you there, hair? It's me, labia.

Holy shit, that was funny.

"silken, mahogany hair cloaked my private portal"
" my wispily angora-sweatered box"

I may have found a new screen name.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by I am B00B Thruster on 11/09/2015 at 8:48 AM

Re: “Are you there, hair? It's me, labia.

I have always found a woman in her natural state (trimmed is ok) to be much sexier than completely bare. It affects a great deal more than you would initially recognize. Men like women who look like women, not 10 year old girls or porn star wannabes.

3 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Jason Crane on 11/08/2015 at 10:53 AM

Re: “Are you there, hair? It's me, labia.

Our bodies come "as is."

For the most part, as unique beings with the value of that distinction presumed, that is how it should be.

Life is not fair. Sometimes those bodies are delivered deformed (a condition, not a value judgment) and those in charge often opt for intervention, with the best of motives, be the decision wise or not.

By contrast, Labia liberation of the hirsute variety doesn't remotely address any deficits, other than a lack of self-esteem.

What's the rush?

Stacy Harris
Publisher/Executive Editor/Media Critic
Stacy's Music Row Report

1 like, 1 dislike
Posted by Stacy Harris on 11/05/2015 at 7:54 PM

Re: “What they don't tell you about trying to get pregnant, from cycle crashes to sex on demand

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Posted by Hope Tracy on 10/29/2015 at 6:38 PM

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