I don't know what the hell is going on, but in the last week and a half I have witnessed two men strokin' their freakin' ding-dongs all free-like. …
Location: in an alley between south 8th and 9th and Boscobel and Fatherland. I'm taking my pup on a stroll because he loves it oh so much. I call up my mama back home to see what's cookin', and I have zero cell reception in my home (thanks for everything, AT&T). I noticed a silver car had driven down it a few moments before I decided to walk through. I walk up the small hill there, and YOU GUESSED IT ALREADY. This mofo was outside of his car going to Pound Town with himself. First I was thinking, "Okay, this dude's just taking a leak, right?" Nope. I was wrong as the Thong Song. On the phone, I pause, look at this POS, roll my eyes and was just downright annoyed. Didn't even tell my mama (hi, mom!), I just turned and kept on truckin' the opposite direction. And if you live in this area, he was facing right up at the fence on the Boscobel side of the alley about a quarter of the way down. LOCK YOUR DOORS AND CLOSE THOSE BLINDS, Y'ALL.
The moral of this story is hide ya kids, hide ya wives, there's dudes jacking off everywhere. I don't know what to do about what appears to be an epidemic here on the east side. Just.. be careful out there.
You know who you are. (H/T: Sara.)