Welcome back, Tandy! Kind of! Now that she’s decided to go back on her testimony against her father, she can start hanging out with her sister and nieces again. Turns out in best country music tradition the girls are throwing Lamar a “Welcome Home From Prison, Grandpa!” party. The adults are talking about how frail and old and broken Lamar is, but he arrives home to his mansion and gets big hugs from his grandkids, so he’s not doing too bad, from where I’m sitting. (That said, they do manage to misspell Powers Boothe's name in the opening credits. That silent "e" is a bitche.) Tandy, ever so subtle, is like “meep meep!” and runs away.
Turns out the party consists of inviting no guests and sitting around singing songs, Pa Ingalls style. Johnny cakes and corncob dolls for everyone! Do “Turkey in the Straw” next! As soon as the grandkids are out of the room, Lamar is immediately talking about how much Tandy sucks.
And since Rayna is now the sounding board for assorted family members talking about how much they hate one another, ex-husband Teddy pops by to let her know that he believes Lamar is responsible for Peggy’s death. He tells her to ask Tandy; she knows allllll about it. And does she ever! He admits to Rayna that she wanted Lamar punished because he was responsible for their mother’s death, a fact I forget on a weekly basis. She gives Rayna the report put together by a private investigator to prove those pesky mother-murderin’ facts.
“Did you kill my mother?” Rayna directly asks Lamar. He tells her what may or may not be the truth: they were fighting about her affair with Watty (oh yeah), she left, he followed. He drove fast, she drove faster, she crashed. He went to her car but she was already dead. He flew away and left her there because he didn’t know what else to do.
She asks him if he tried to murder Teddy. Lamar is basically like “...” Rayna considers both of her parents dead, now. She would prefer to never see Lamar again. “Mommy needs some time away from the rest of her family, oh, forever,” she tells the girls. They hug. Maddie’s college countdown ticks away.
Lamar heads over to the mayor’s office to confront Teddy. (Still so hilarious that Teddy is the mayor.) Teddy tells Lamar that it wasn’t he who was talking to the Feds, but rather Tandy, his own daughter. Lamar has another heart attack and pleads with Teddy for help but the Mayor Who Is Not Karl Dean just stands there whistling and calculating alternate-universe Amp routes to Antioch. Lamar seemingly perishes upon the mayoral carpeting. Teddy ain’t care.
We start off with our leader hanging out in bed with Avery, ignoring her phone. “Knock knock,” says the door. “Don’t answer it,” Juliette implores. He does anyway, and it is Deacon. Because Avery lives in a quasi-studio apartment of some kind, the bed is right there off of the main living area. Juliette hides under the covers and listens to the gents talk about Big Music Stuff.
I would have thought that someone who essentially raised herself thanks to no father and a Junkie Mom (RIP you shooting star) would know how to make toast, but alas, our Juliette just makes microwaved bread. She wants to watch that science fiction movie Avery was talking about, but he says it’s Fellini, and we’re supposed to think for a second that he’s erudite and she’s dumb. I guess she did skip college, so. (Then again, they could both be right.) Anyway. He runs off to help with Music Stuff.
Her publicist tracks her down at Avery’s apartment and wants her to get back to work. Juliette decides that she lives in this apartment now, and will spend all of her free time watching the Criterion Collection and wearing black. She does have one request, though: that they completely redecorate Avery’s home. He is very “wut” about it and she is very “you are the only thing I have!” which is a good look on exactly nobody.
Avery invites her to Deacon’s show, but she’s too busy pretending not to know the difference between Italian and French. “Just because you close your eyes, doesn’t mean you’re invisible.” Get that stitched on a pillow and give it to a dog, because that is dog advice. But whatever, it worked. She goes to the show. She wants to make music again. Avery just wants his furniture back! Freeze frame, roll credits, cue Bob Mueller.
Will, Gunnar, Zoe
Will thinks all of the demos being sent over totally suck. He’s nervous about his record, which is now being released the same day as Rayna’s. Luckily for Will, Gunnar wrote a song that he claims is about his own feelings, but it sounds a lot like “I am gay and hate myself and tried to die, yodel-a-ee-hoo.” Kind of like "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry (But Also I Am Gay And In Denial)." Will does not think it matches his “brand” and he also basically tells Gunnar to screw off. His hair bristles in indignation.
Label fellow Brent pops by, and Will brusquely informs him that he did not care for the demos he brought over. Will tells label chief Jeff that he doesn’t want Brent around anymore, and that even though he hasn’t been “inappropriate,” he is making Will uncomfortable. He is told that Brent shall be gone. Will ‘preciates it. His hair bristles in gratitude.
Aaaaand Brent gets fired and goes to the weird household of Will and Gunnar to blandly confront him. Little is said, and he leaves, probably forever, going off to wherever Watty. Gunnar tells him that getting rid of one person he’s attracted to won’t make him not gay. Will is dumb, and sad, and sings a sad ballad about sadness. But he won’t record it. His hair bristles in obstinate career misjudgment.
What of Zoe? She is sad that the music people have music things to do. She goes to an audition for backup singers, but is unprepared (no headshot or demo), I guess the Craigslist cattle call did not specify what one needed to bring. She’s keeping this ambition a secret, and Gunnar only sees his girlfriend lounging around, looking sad. Hey! She is working at one of country music’s most revered venues! And you have a boyfriend! You have MADE IT, he insists. Zoe quickly realizes that Gunnar’s encouragement sounds like a failure salad with ranch, and goes back to the audition place with a CD of her church singing. Here is to successes.
Oh and Layla has to fly out to Los Angeles for her television show. Her planet needs her, hopefully.
What happened with Deacon and music?
A. Deacon decides that he’s too old to be a musician and embarks on a new career in pottery.
B. Deacon realizes that country music is not the genre for him. He needs to clear his head, and does research on whether or not gentiles can live on a kibbutz.
C. Deacon records his album at the Bluebird.
What happened with Deacon and his girlfriend?
A. Nothing. Smooth sailing for those crazy kids!
B. Deacon persuades her to get plastic surgery to look more like Rayna.
C. He is mean to her but then they make up.
Which words did Deacon discuss with Avery?
A. Male gaze! Intersectionality! Privilege!
B. Sous-vide! Bain-marie! Mirepoix!
C. Analog! Two-track! Dry run!
Correct Answers: C, C, C
0 - 1 Correct: The show in your head is often preferable to the show on the air.
2 Correct: You were playing Candy Crush and watching the show at the same time.
3 Correct: Congratulations! You fully watched this episode of Nashville!
Dear sweet Scarlett (a yellow Starburst), she is soooo busy lately! Laying down tracks and singing great vocals and working really hard and doing so well! She cannot rest! Rest is for the weak! When she does manage to sleep, for a moment, she is the princess and her phone is the pea, reminding her that she’s got to film Rayna’s music video in 15 minutes!
Golly she looks tired, there in the makeup chair. You know what can help, when you feel and look tired? PILLS. She takes some PILLS and boy do they ever work! The video crew thinks she looks great, no, perfect, and her energy is off the charts! Take PILLS! #takepills
She’s so pepped up that she’s even able to squeeze in Deacon’s Bluebird recording. She is so full of vim, vigor, ebullience, high spirits, vitality and other synonyms that she kind of forgot she was mad at everybody! She gives Zoe and Juliette some compliments and just mentions off-handedly that her life is so perfect right now, gosh, it’ll probably stay that way forever. In no way will PILLS lead to CONSEQUENCES.