I went to Opry Mills on the Friday of Easter weekend. And I did it for you people.
The worst part of the story should be the hour that it took to get in and out of the mall, which was ridden with busloads of tourists desperately in search of bargains. (I guess these people didn't give up shopping for Lent.) But no, the actual worst part of the story is that I went to the wrong store, and I want to make sure that you don't make the same mistake.
So let's back up: I was supposed to meet the nice folks at Sun & Ski Sports, who were going to show me how to use an indoor cycling trainer. But I showed up at the wrong location because I can't follow instructions. Fortunately, the guys at the Opry Mills location were super cool and gave me the lowdown on this awesome piece of fitness equipment.
The cycling trainer allows you to convert your outdoor bike to an indoor bike, so you can ride in the comfort of your home. This is great if you are training for a long ride and are dealing with inclement weather, unless you're one of those weirdos who likes to bike in sleet, snow and rain. (I've seen those people on the road. What's up with that?) It's also great if you'd like to catch up on past seasons of Downton Abbey or Girls. Burning calories and hearing Lena Dunham's latest manifesto at the same time? Sign me up!
The trainer is super easy to use — you just hook the wheel of your bike in. It's pretty idiot-proof, so you don't have to worry about the trainer coming unhinged and causing you to ride yourself and your bike right into your wall. Because these are the kinds of things that keep me up at night.
At 6 p.m. next Friday, April 12, Sun & Ski in COOL SPRINGS, NOT OPRY MILLS will host a class to show attendees how to use the trainer. You can bring your own bike, or use one at the store. FYI, they always have these in the Sun & Ski stores, so you cyclists can try before you buy (they sell and offer professional fitting services for road, mountain, hybrid, commuter, BMX, and kids bicycles) without having to ride around Johnny Rockets (if you happen to be at the Opry Mills location in the future) or past Bed Bath & Beyond (if you happen to be at the Cool Springs location in the future).
I'm excited about this particular stop on the Fitness Crawl because I'm hoping it will help me get over my irrational fear of bicycles. Sorry if you've heard this story before (because I tell it every time I see, hear, or smell a bicycle), but I knocked out a bunch of my teeth from a nasty bike accident when I was 7 and I still have not forgiven that asshat of a bike for trying to kill me. But since this bike isn't going anywhere, the chances of me losing any more teeth are minimal. Possible, but minimal.
The 4/12 event is limited to 19 spots, and in addition to learning how to use the trainer, the instructor will lead a cycling class. After you burn some calories, all of the Blackburn Tech Mag 6 trainers will be available for purchase at 40% off the regular $239.99 price. Sweet.
Spots will fill up, so you might want to call 628-0289 to register in advance.