My recent field trip to the Nashville Armory to shoot some guns somehow pissed off a bunch of humorless people who fail to read past headlines. It also confused the Google News robot, who grabbed our headline — "Dozens escape injury as our intrepid reporter opens fire at a Nashville gun range" — assuming that an actual shooting spree occurred.
While I'm sure my mother is very proud that the outside world may or may not think her baby is a serial killer, I'm enjoying my newfound badassery. So, in honor of all pistol packin' mamas out there, here are some of my favorite ways to accessorize your weapon:
The queen of gangster chic is Faye Dunaway as Bonnie Parker in Bonnie and Clyde. The beret, the neck scarf, the pencil skirt, and the ultimate accessory — Warren Beatty — earn her the crown.
A close second is Mallory Knox, aka Juliette Lewis in Natural Born Killers. She has some pretty rad wigs and costumes, but my favorite is this psychotic Carol Brady look. I probably wouldn't rest MY gun there, but whatever. I'm sure the safety is on.
Good god. I will go back to gun class if I can recreate this scene from Mr. and Mrs. Smith with Brad Pitt. Angelina Jolie, you are a lucky girl.
Whatcha got under that cushion, Barbara? Ms. Stanwyck was stunning as a murderous housewife in Double Indemnity. Why don't we bring back this sexy loungewear, ladies?
And last, but not least, is Milla Jovovich's ass-kicking Alice in Resident Evil. Anyone know where I can purchase one of these leather thingys? Hot.