If you're experiencing major Girls withdrawal while you impatiently wait for the January 2013 Season Two premiere, we should totally be friends. If you're as obsessed with freewheeling heroine Jessa and her ridiculously awesome wardrobe as much as I am, we should totally be BFF.
We first met Jessa when she rolled into NYC on the heels of some fabulous adventure halfway around the world. You know, the kind of adventure you've always wanted to go on, but never really had the balls — or the bank account, as Jessa sports Louis Vuitton luggage — to do.
Well, Jessa has balls. Serious balls. While the show is burdened by lazy comparisons to another HBO show featuring four NYC ladies, it would be easy for us to compare her to Sex and the City's token vixen, Samantha. But Jessa is so much more than the sexy second fiddle to Lena Dunham's hipster Carrie Bradshaw-esque Hannah and prissy Charlotte 2.0, Marnie. Did Samantha ever do any of the following things? Because Jessa did ALL of these — and more — in the first season:
*Missed her own abortion party
*Threw a bottle of wine at a partygoer in a warehouse in Bushwick
*Had a miscarriage while hooking up with a stranger in a bar bathroom
*Showed up to her first day of work in a transparent white dress and neon pink underthings (and, later in the day, smoked pot with her new boss)
*Assigned a "crack spirit guide" to watch her earnest, innocent cousin Shoshanna so she can hang out with her creepy boss at a party
*Had sex with an ex in front of her aforementioned cousin
Side note: Samantha definitely wore some questionable stuff to work, and she did throw a melon at a floozy at a Hamptons party. I lost track of how many times she had sex in public bathrooms. Perhaps she is Jessa's fairy godmother.)
If you're going to live this extreme, you require a wardrobe that is as fascinating as you are. Just like every other area of her turn-it-up-to-eleven lifestyle, Jessa's sartorial choices are daring, memorable and oddly inspiring. Check out how she stole each scene and, as a result, our cold, black hearts:
This "sexy geisha" look, as her ex described it, may look unassuming, but once Jessa added some matte red lipstick, she was irresistible. And "unsmotable."
A sheer dress is totally appropriate for your first day at work. As Jessa pointed out, it's floor-length.
In case you're wondering what to wear to an impromptu wedding with a guy who once tried to have a threesome with you and your friend ...
And this, the piece de resistance, the incredible feathered contraption that Jessa wore to the famous Bushwick party, scene of crimes such as the "Original Man" dancing, exes who date "tiny Navajos" and perhaps Jessa's best quote ever: "You were born on a dirt floor. I don't think you're cool and your mother was poor."