Friday, May 18, 2012

H.R. Giger Wept: Battleship Opens Today

Posted By on Fri, May 18, 2012 at 8:00 AM

Battleship, the latest two-hour-plus movie based on a Hasbro toy, is predictably a movie assembled by creative committee. At the same time, based on the movie the committee delivered, the members of that imaginary brain trust are more thoughtfully eccentric than one might expect.

Imagine, if you will, a meeting of the minds headed by the world's biggest Michael Bay fan and chaired by a gawky scientist with a thing for Billy Bob Thornton. This confab gathers retirees from a veterans' home, fans of R&B and Tadanobu Asano (the Johnny Depp of Japan!), a toy-company executive who also happens to be the 12-year-old M. Night Shyamalan, and a guy who saw J.J. Abrams' last two movies and dug their extended use of lens flares.

If Battleship is any indication, the only pop culture mavens missing from this coalition of the willing were the Village People and Frankenberry. It isn't a personal, smart or especially clever popcorn movie: In fact, it's dumb as dirt and monumentally contrived. But somehow, the unsung dream team that put it together got the job done.

Read the full review here.

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