Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Comedy Gallagher Let Me Smash a Bunch of Shit Onstage Once; Also, He's in Town Tonight
Posted by Sean L. Maloney on Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Or in this case, stand next to Gallagher and use the Sledge-O-Matic.
OK, maybe my 13-year-old self didn't care about art, or humanity or, obviously, fashion, but damn was I ready to smash the shit out of some watermelons, lack of poncho be damned. Don't let anyone ever tell you that lying gets you nowhere. That's a lie. Lying gets you everywhere. Or at least it got me onstage with the man himself and his legendary implement of destruction.
“Who's an Indian?” Gallagher asked. I bolted out of my seat, raising my hand like I never had in middle school. It was the sort of urgency people generally associate with a near-death situation or a case of explosive diarrhea. I have probably never moved so fast in my life.
“Are you really an Indian?”
Of course, I responded, fully aware that the only place I'm a native of is Crackertown.
“All right, c'mon up here.”
No shit? Really? This dude, this grown up, just fell for the steaming pile of bullshit? Fuck yeah. Who cares if I was the only one that volunteered. I won.
I got to smash the shit out of some watermelons.
And while I can't watch a Gallagher clip without cringing nowadays — specials like The Maddest haven't aged very well, to be, um, judicious — but that five minutes where I got to stand onstage and hit pie-plates full of dog food and cottage cheese is one of my fondest memories. Sure, I'll be the first person to talk shit about prop comedy now — it's fucking stupid; there, I said it — but I never would have been able to hit an old lady square in the face with a half-watermelon if it weren't for Gallagher.
So yeah, Gallagher is coming to 3rd & Lindsley tonight. You should go. Or not. I'm pretty sure most folks don't come home smelling like dog food, if that's a thing that you worry about.
And hey, there's an incredibly intoxicating thrill that comes with swinging a large blunt object straight into a pile of unsuspecting foodstuffs. I honestly can't blame the dude for sticking to that shtick well past its expiration date — no matter how shitty your work day is going, if you get to smash things at the end of it, I feel like you'll leave pretty satisfied.
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I got to smash some stuff with Gallagher on my Birthday a while back, it was lots of fun.
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we are pretty much like your post. it is really awesome. waiting for your next post. howtomakedogfood.org
thanks
