• I can't believe I ate the whole thing ...

So when he asked if I would help him with his local pizza competition, I quickly said yes. Apparently, the plans for a best pizza contest arose from the idea that since Herman Cain is the former CEO of Godfather's Pizza and a favorite candidate of Gill's listeners, it would be interesting to see if they preferred his pizza as well. After a modicum of research, Gill's staff discovered that around here, Godfather's Pizza is pretty much limited to gas stations and would probably finish a distant third in the takeaway pizza category behind Hunt Brothers and "Other."

But the buzz had already begun, and Gill saw this as a chance to feature some local pizza options and share a good time with some of his listeners invited to the studio. So that's how I found myself in the comfortable garage-and-poker-room-themed room at Clear Channel that serves as Gill's studio, confronted with a stack of 12 pieces of pizza.

Listeners made the first pass through the boxes of carryout delivered by the competitors, piling their straining paper plates high with slices from the two categories, pepperoni and "restaurant's choice." Then a parade of pies was brought forth to the two tables of us judges by staffers and interns of the radio show. The entrants were: Porta Via on White Bridge Road; Joey's House of Pizza (newly relocated from Brentwood to Elm Hill Pike in Nashville); Marco's Pizza in Franklin; the punnily-named Knead Dough from Hendersonville; Brixx Wood Fired Pizza, also from Hendersonville; and Michaelangelo's Pizza (located just off Elliston Place in Nashville).

Judging was ostensibly blind, although some of the pizzas were served in the boxes with the pizzerias' names on them, but we were professionals. After pies were assessed on both appearance and taste, the People's Choice Award went to Knead Dough. I didn't see their pizza in the condition that it arrived, but apparently they cooked a 4' x 4' pizza that had both a pepperoni side and a Hawaiian ham, bacon, red onion and grilled pineapple half, which was my personal favorite. (I know ... the heresy! I went to college in California and developed an unholy attraction to Hawaiian pizza.)

• Greek pizza from Five Points Pizza

First, owners Tara and Dave Tieman and Tanner Jacobs spent a year formulating a dough recipe. Well, no — first the Tiemans spent 12 years as attorneys. Then they looked around their East Nashville neighborhood and said, “What would we be really excited to see open here?” Came the answer: pizza by the slice.

They then spent a year renovating the former bike shop at 1012 Woodland St. When they weren't renovating or overseeing renovation, they were working on the recipe for crust. Different combinations of flour and water, different water, different flour, rise times — there are dozens of variables to test. They consulted bakers, researched online, and spent a week working at a pizzeria on Staten Island, N.Y.

• Five Points' antipasto platter.

And then there was sauce. Oh, and the beer permit. I don’t need to tell you that was a nightmare. Both Tiemans went through the application over and over, yet with their combined 24 years in practice, they couldn’t figure out how to fill out the application. In the end, they got their beer license, and Tara Tieman is helping the Metro Beer Board overhaul its permit application form, which should gladden many prospective restaurant owners.

The Five Points crew originally envisioned being BYOB, since Woodland Wines is across the street. But in Nashville, things are not so simple. That beer permit turned out to be a mixed blessing: It allows them to serve beer, but not to serve or allow any other alcohol — including BYOB. So now they’re working toward the limited license that will allow them to sell wine and high-gravity beer.

But Mrs. Pink's sister, Madame Rouge, said her husband had raved about a pizza place somewhere in Nolensville. He couldn't remember the name but thought it started with an "A." After minutes of fruitless searching, we were about to turn around in metropolitan Nolensville and head back when the kids spotted a sign in a little strip mall on the right: Amico's.

• watermelon, tomato and cheese

Not that there aren't many fine options in Nashville. But when you live in Germantown and are feeling lazy, your options narrow significantly: get Jet's delivered and hate yourself for it; get Papa John's delivered and hate yourself and humanity in general for it; or walk to City House.

The last option is fine for those of you with fat-wallet-induced scoliosis, but for the more frugal among us, it's not always the best idea. Let's face it: "Let's get a pizza at City House" quickly turns into a pizza, two pizzas, a few sazeracs, a couple of beers, and ... oh, hey, that new bewildering dish with pork belly in it. The next thing you know, you've spent a healthy car payment on a Thursday dinner.

Whatever your reason, Porta Via Italian Kitchen is responding to the requests of their customers by importing a new gluten-free flour they offer as an option in their pizzas, breads and pastas.

The gluten-free flour is imported from Italy and contains a blend of rice, fava bean and potato. You have to ask for it in when you order — and of course pizza, pasta and bread made with traditional wheat still dominate the menu).

In an interesting twist, the management of Porta Via has managed to create gluten-free options while still adhering to the strict pizza standards set forth by the Associazone Pizza Napoletana (VPN).

That's quite a feat, so I hope the anti-gluten set appreciates the effort and gives the new dishes a try. Report back here how the new flour is working out.

Porta Via Italian Kitchen is located at 21 White Bridge Road. Check out their website at www.eatatportavia.com for more information.

And yet, despite the flour-filled atmosphere, the roasting meats, the tubs of dip, the molded salmon spread — despite the crowded fridge and cabinet, there's nothing for dinner. What what? You know it's true, so confess — you cook for two hours and then eat a can of ravioli for dinner.

That's the back story for our call to Jet's Pizza for its special deal of a small thin-crust cheese pizza and a large thin-crust Italian sausage and olive pizza for about $18. I've blogged before about Jet's — it's hands-down my favorite chain pizza, and not so far from the true greats, like Mafiaoza's and Porta Via. That's high praise from me — I don't naturally love pizza.

But when the pizza boxes were opened, the large turned out to be someone else's deep dish pepperoni. Day of sadness! Where will the tragedy end? The store felt badly about the mix-up, so the proper pizza was baked and shipped via delivery. The store probably also had to do the same for the family that got a thin-crust Italian sausage and olive pizza instead of the thick-crust pepperoni that was currently on our counter. That, plus the special deal, probably erased any profit they made from the two transactions.

After dinner, we had a lot of rearranging to do to fit all that leftover pizza into the fridge. It provided enough leftovers that I was able to spend the next two nights baking and fixing party food without having to stop and cook dinner. Happy ending after all!

The requirements are extremely strict, including specifications regarding the use of Italian Caputo 00 wheat flour, mozzarella di bufala cheese and Vesuvian tomatoes.

In any case, Porta Via, which opened on White Bridge Road in late 2009, and Bella Napoli, which opened along Villa Place in August, serve excellent pizza, embracing the demands of Neapolitan pizza construction, and Nashville is luckier for it.

As for technicalities, Porta Via has been working for a while to earn official AVPN certification — they are just awaiting their site visit from representatives of the AVPN to confirm their bona fide Neapolitan status. (Be patient. There aren't a lot of direct flights between Naples and Nashville.)

Meanwhile, here's an update on Porta Via: They have expanded the menu, including daily lunch specials, a full martini menu and house-made pastas. If that intrigues you, check out the official release below:

• Photo: Eric England
• When it comes to pizza, trust this guy.

If you went to last night's Dr. Dog show at Live on the Green on the Public Square, you likely saw a line down the street at Pizza Buds' truck window — we can only imagine their propane oven was blazing like Mordor's fires.

If you didn't, the Buds have what they're calling a grand opening 7 p.m. tonight at 1805 Rosebank Ave. in East Nashville, with live music from Oblio and Flora Shakespeare. To keep up with their appearances, follow them on Twitter.

And if you've got ideas about toppings and combinations, pass them along. Word is they're considering special pies for special occasions. ...

The post in question concerns Moto Bene (love the name), an Atlanta food cart that dispenses wood-fired pizza from a pull-behind oven. Selections include grass-fed beef, arugula and spring onion; a three-cheese pie; and bacon, spring onion and bok choi.

Even after clicking the link, I wasn't convinced such a thing actually existed. It sounded too good to be true, like snipe meat or Shmoos. And yet I was inching my way through the Dust Bowl haze at Bonnaroo two weeks ago when I saw a line 50 people long. They were bellied up to a wood-stoked portable oven and a steady stream of crisp little $10 Frisbee-sized pizzas, featuring fresh veggies atop a bubbled and blackened crust.

I don't believe it was a Moto Bene stand, and I did not try one — the angel on my shoulder pointed the way to Stevie Wonder, even as the devil in my ear kept whispering "portobello." But now that I know they exist, I'm ready to pass Chris' challenge along to the greater Nashville area: Who's going to take their job and shove it so I can get a wood-fired rosemary chicken/Brussels sprout special with roasted garlic and pepper flakes? (I'll settle for pepperoni, by the way. I'm easy.)