Friday, January 24, 2014

The Weekly Open Thread: Where Have All the Quorn (Faux) Meatballs Gone?!

Posted By on Fri, Jan 24, 2014 at 6:03 AM

Pictured: My Precious
  • Pictured: My Precious

Greetings, Bites readers. (Do you guys call yourselves something? Biters?) I don't typically step out from behind my station at the helm of the S.S. Cream, but a foods-related personal mini-crisis brings me to the Cream's sister blog: Where have all the Quorn imitation meatballs gone?!

My girlfriend (a non-meat-eater) and I (an omnivore) affectionately refer to Quorn's mycoprotein-based faux meatballs as "meeballs," as we can't bring ourselves to call a thing that isn't actually a ball of meat a "meatball." At least twice a week, she and I (mainly she, though I help pour the drinks) create some sort of meal using these addictive little bastards. But over the past month or two, we've been unable to find our beloved meeballs at any of the usual spots — either Turnip Truck, either East Nashville Kroger or the grocery section of Target. Although some folks have poo-pooed mycoprotein over the past decade, there doesn't appear to be any recent controversy involving Quorn. In fact, the only recent news item I'm seeing related to Quorn is that the U.K.-based company's sales spiked in the wake of that super-gross horse-meat scandal.

So are we just looking in the wrong places? Is there a shortage? Do you know where my meeballs have gone? CAN YOU HELP ME?? And don't tell me to try the other brands of faux meatballs. I've had them, and they are not good.

Oh, and also, what else is on your mind?

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