Thursday, June 28, 2012

Leftover Surprise: Vegan Black Metal Chef, The Pizza-nomicon, Anti-Cookie A-Holes and More From Around the Web

Posted By on Thu, Jun 28, 2012 at 5:52 AM

Anybody else sick of talking about hipsters? Ya, me too. I mean, last week got pretty out of hand with the fawning adoration from the national and international press. The attention is nice but, as any hipster will tell you, talking about hipsters is so last week.

This week, on the other hand, is all about Vegan Black Metal Chef — there isn't a beard or a fixie in any of these videos! And the music will never, ever be used to sell salad dressing — even if that salad dressing may be healthier than you think. Basically, VBMC is the antidote for your over-hipstered brain. It's the shoulder-pad and corpse-paint relief from the cool kid tedium that you've been calling out for, the Gatlinburg-gift-shop-knife wielding counterpoint to cat-eye glasses and chic addresses. Also, the seitan recipes in the new episode look pretty damn tasty — and this is coming from an avowed carnivore who is more than willing to get all Count Grishnackh on a mofo if the occasion arises. (Brain tastes good! At least in other animals! I ain't ashamed!)

* If eating someone's soul is more your style, might I suggest you stroll over to The Gastronomicon: Blog of The Fed for their terrifyingly tasty looking Thin Crust Necronomicon. Inspired by Sam Raimi's legendary — and Tennessee originating! — Evil Dead trilogy, this deliciously evil-looking pie is topped with black olives and garlic and is convenient enough that you could eat it with one hand while battling an army of Deadites. Or an army of teeny-weeny little doppelgangers with an enormous love for the Three Stooges. And remember if you need to stock up ingredients, shop smart, shop S-Mart.

* Who's got an ice cream maker? Is it cool if I come over? I promise that I might possibly, maybe — if you're quick on the draw and catch me while I'm not looking — might share the Fried Chicken and Waffle Ice Cream that I'm going to make at your house with your ice cream maker. Okay, I'll share a little bit, but there's no guarantee I won't just stick my face down in that tub of sweet and savory and motorboat it like my name was Vince Vaughn.
href="">a thing or two about fighting.

* In other news, some folks are still hyper-reactionary assholes. It's a cookie, dudes, calm down a bit. Hell, it's not even a real cookie just an ad for a cookie that doesn't actually exist. If you're going to boycott Oreos because of this, I'd say it's time to revoke your citizenship and try you for treason — boycotting Oreos is downright un-American. Hell, if folks are going to boycott Oreos just to prove that they're on the wrong side of history, fine. That just means more Oreos for me and my LGBT buddies. Oreos don't really taste that good dipped in hate anyway.

* And in even less surprising news, Monsanto are also still assholes. Big time assholes. Regardless of where you stand on the GMO thing — I'm against it! — it's tough to have pity on the folks who are squeezing our farmers for every penny they've got with products that don't really work. [via my sworn enemy, The New York Times]

* In totally surprising news, McDonald's french fries count as a weapon. At least in Lowell, Mass., which is a city that knows a thing or two about fighting.

*And lastly: animated food porn.

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