Taquitos.net has reviewed about 4,500 snacks to date. You can't rack up those kinds of numbers with just the occasional weekend munchies. Intellectual discipline — that's what it takes.
Chief Snacking Officers Keith and Melissa set rigid criteria for snack testing:
Primarily, we consider the six major food groups: Potato Chips, Popcorn, Pretzels, Cheese Puffs, Tortilla Chips and Corn Chips. ... We'll often consider any snack that comes in a bag that roughly resembles a bag of chips. Any item that has the word "snack" somewhere in its name will usually receive consideration.
What about ice cream, or cookie dough, or bread sticks?
We normally won't consider snacks that require refrigeration to store or need to be cooked before being eaten. Beyond those criteria, we decide on a case-by-case basis whether each item merits a review.
There is no "I" in teamwork, I'll tell ya.
Their work confirms the widely held opinion that Cheetos are among the Top 10 Widely Available Snacks (duh — I hope taxpayer money didn't pay for that study) along with Cheddar Chex Mix, Munchos and Pringle's Sour Cream and Onion. Deities in the mainstream snacking pantheon.
It also isn't a shock that the bottom of the pile features seafood-flavored chips.
The devastating truth uncovered by the Snacking Officers is that The Man is keeping the good stuff from us. You've never heard of most of the Top 10 Best Snacks/Chips ever: Rap snacks? Boyers? Wachusett? Poore Brothers?
It's a conspiracy by Big Snack.
Thanks Taquitos snack researchers. You make it all worth it.