Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Good advice Want a Tip, Servers? Here Are 50
Posted by Nicki Wood on Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 8:26 AM
From the New York Times comes the first half of its list of One Hundred Things Servers Should Never Do.
Number 3 hits close to home: Never refuse to seat three guests because the fourth hasn't shown up. With a lifelong, chronically late friend, I can verify this policy encourages lying: savvy diners have learned to fib about a lagging person in the party, or risk getting backed up behind three other parties.
Numbers 10 ("Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials") and 46 ("Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal") seem harsh; servers are not doctors, expected to have a completely flat presence. But that's preferable, presumably, to a chatty server. That's well-covered by 38, 39, 40 and 41.
There are some I wouldn't have thought of ("Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle") but am glad someone did. And others that seem dependent on the guests, or the occasion. ("Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better.")
And some are so basic that servers shouldn't need a checklist. "Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests." "Do not call a guy a dude." "Never mention the tip."
Nevertheless, somewhere out there is a patron referred to as "dude" by a tipsy waiter inquiring after his tip.
Comments (23)
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When I read the list, what struck me is that only a handful have ever happened to me, in 15 years of restaurant reviewing.
I agree with all of it, though. There's one lose/lose one:
17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
because in my experience, the majority of customers want it the other way, no matter how rude it is to sit there with no plate and stare at the slower eaters. And if you leave the finished plate until the others are done, that guy is the one who races home to post a Citysearch review about how inattentive the server was. It was a constant battle when I was waiting tables and no super-duper "reading the table about it" skills ever paid off.
I agree with Barbara. When I waited tables, I was scolded several times by guests for removing/not removing plates. It's impossible. Personally, I like my plate removed when I am done with it.
In regards to #7, I never gave people my name when I was a server and I do not require my servers to do it now. However, twice in my server career a guest complained to a manager that I did not introduce myself. I always found that odd.
#6 is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.
Good list, with a couple of exceptions.
Re #11 ("do not hustle the lobsters") - Though I see the potential for abuse or "hustling" I appreciate being alerted if a special is about to run out so that I can go ahead and order it if that's what I have my heart set on.
Also "do not announce your name?" Please just call me "anonymous fungible server" or "hey you."
To your point Doug at Amerigo, I wouldn't think anything of it if a server did not inntroduce him or herself, but I certainly don't find it offensive when servers do introduce themselves.
#5 is a big one for me. I don't know if all the tables in Nashville have suddenly become wobbly or what, but every time my g/f and I go out, we get stuck in a wobbly / leaning table.
The other night at Five Guys, it took 3 tries to get a table that didn't require napkins under one of the legs. One table at PM was so bad, I had to sit my drink on the window ledge in fear of it sliding off the table and into my lap.
Seriously folks, it's a pretty simple fix.
I agree with you, Meg. I don't have a problem with it, I just don't think it is a necessity to give your name. I guess I just don't like using someone's first name when I am making a request. It always feels like I am being demeaning to the server.
I would agree with the above comments, when I'm done I appreciate my plate being removed - on the flip side if I'm not done I don't appreciate my plate being removed and/or getting a judgemental look when I say, "Um, I'm still working on that"
I'm not offended when a server introduces themselves, but doing it several times throughout the meal is annoying. I recently had a lunch where our table was told no less than 5 times that we could ask for Steve if we needed anything. I shouldn't remember your name 10 days after the meal unless I've been in a few times or had spectacular service that stands out.
#15 is a big problem for me and will cause me to write off a restaurant entirely. Many of the big chains I disparage require their servers to have intimate knowledge of a menu; small restaurants should make sure their servers do as well (and that servers arrive early for shifts to taste all the specials, as appropriate). Or, at the very least, make sure they know they should ask any question on behalf of a patron.
When I go to a new restaurant, I often ask a server for their favorite dish. I guess they don't have to volunteer it before I ask, but that doesn't annoy me at all. They should be experts on the menu, in my opinion.
Here's another tip, but it's more for managers: "room temperature" for red wine means that of a cellar, not of your kitchen. I'm so tired of having to drop a couple of ice cubes in red wine. It should not be served warm.
It often seems that the "may I get that out of your way?" question, or just TAKING it away, when you haven't given any indication that the empty plate is somehow IN your way, is the only subject on that pretty good list that waiters have been trainedtor come to believe hey should bring up--only backwards.
Some restaurants had wait staff do that to keep the guests moving along; it's a bum's rush, and massively impolite to the others at the table not done yet. It's become so common that a lot of waiters--and guests--now imagine that it's classy!
As or the "name" business. I recall hearing an upper crust New York lady reply to a typical "And if you need anythtng, my name is Steven" comment with "And what will your name be, dear, if I don't?"
-17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.-
This is my #1 pet restaurant peeve and I was so happy to read it in the NYT. I was raised to believe that it is incredibly rude to clear a table until all guests are finished.
Unfortunately the inexperienced and uneducated public has come to believe that clearing plates promptly is good service. I think it is a lost cause, but it really irks me.
BTW, diners should also make an effort to dine at the same pace.
One pet peeve I have that wasn't mentioned is taking away my cocktail, beer or wine glass before I'm done! Even if there is just one sip left, I may still want it. This has happened to me twice in the past 2 weeks and it's so annoying!
Agree with Leslie about #15. I always have questions about the menu, and I expect the servers to know the answer or at least find the answer for me.
And as for the name thing, if they don't tell me their name, I almost always ask. Now after Doug's comment about it being demeaning, I feel really bad. I thought it would be quite the opposite- I truly want to know their name to be polite when asking a question or trying to get their attention.
it's also rude to "be done" before your fellow diners....Grandmother taught us to "pretend" we are still eating if someone is lagging behind.
Concur on #17. It should be printed in 86 point type and sent to every restaurant owner in Nashville. It is not controversial and non-negotiable. Leave the goddamn plates where they are until everyone is finished.
Unfortunately #17 has become so accepted and often expected that I am thrilled to learn that others here know better. Thank you all! My faith in mankind (and manners) is restored.
On to peeve #2:
"8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment".
It happens a lot here in Nashville and I HATE IT. This is acceptable only if the need arises to inform patrons of the need to evacuate the premises.
Cant wait for #'s 51-100!
It drives me crazy to have my iced tea refreshed when there's just a sip or two gone. I've worked hard to doctor it up and get it just right -- I want to drink the whole thing, then get a refill and fix it up. With partial glasses, it's hard to get the lemon-sugar balance right.
Holiday Grinch: There's a reverse to number 8 that all customers should heed: When the server walks up to your table to greet you and tell the specials, don't ignore him/her and continue your conversation for five minutes. Cede the floor and allow them to do their job.
Bubba, that's true. It is an expected interlude and the waiter should wait just a moment to get everyone's attention.
Speaking of customer behavior: the use of the words "please" and "thank you" are not optional. I am shocked at the way people around here bark orders at wait staff as if they were servants.
Well, they ARE servants, so that's not quite what I meant. Good manners apply to all.
I don't believe I saw this on the list but...
If I was presented with a plate of food and proceeded to eat all the food on my plate, I'd prefer not to hear something along the lines of "I see someone enjoyed his meal" or "Didn't like the food, eh?"
Unless I ordered something that is some kind of challenge-based meal, I'd rather not have commentary on my eating prowess.
