Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Conversation Bites Secret Food: What We Eat When We Eat Alone
Posted by Tracy Moore on Tue, Jul 7, 2009 at 6:54 AM
Jezebel has an interesting conversation going about secret culinary lives--hidden comfort foods like Hot Pockets people only scarf down when no one is looking. (They also link to an NPR interview with the authors of the new book What We Eat When We Eat Alone.) It got me thinking about my own hidden comfort foods I'd rarely consume with such voracity in proper company. Like how I kinda want breakfast for every meal. Or could eat a pound of bacon at any time. Or that I actually really like slices of American cheese. And can consume a half a jar of pickled okra at a frightening (and I'm sure unbecoming) speed. I once had a broke-ass house guest who lived entirely off of the container of Parmesan cheese and soy sauce in my fridge when I wasn't home during the day. And I'm well aware of folks who nurse secret cravings for Vienna sausages, bologna and other less desirable meat products, but only undercover.
What about you folks? What's your Vienna Sausages?
Comments (47)
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Despite your request, I refuse to talk about my vienna sausage. I will, however, fess up to raiding the freezer for a frozen burrito on occasion. I don't eat them frozen, of course, because like a lot of good comfort food it requires microwaving.
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when i was a kid (and home alone) i ate a lot of raw spaghetti (and oats). this then developed into making my own "fun dip" of nestea mix + powdered sugar, which i would dip the spaghetti in and lick off.
this, of course, later developed into mixology experimentation with my parents tequila + mixers.
As long as we're talking back when we were kids: white bread toasted with butter, cinnamon sugar and chocolate chips, topped with Cool Whip. As an adult, though, my guilty secret pleasure is to dump out half the contents of a can of peanuts--or cashews, when I'm feeling extravagant--and fill the empty space with Ghirardelli dark chocolate chips and dried cranberries or cherries.
When I was home alone I ate a lot of
Peanut butter and celery
cool whip straight out of the container
country crock butter straight out of the container
crayon shavings (really young)
Potato Sticks (the ones in a can)
the cheap Totinos Pizzas with the crispy crust
Funyuns
Fruit Roll Ups
Fruity Pebbles & Cap'n Crunch (dry with no milk)
Blue Kool-Aid
Cantelope slices sprinkled with pepper Syrup poured all over my breakfast
pancakes, bacon, eggs, and biscuits--making the biscuits yummy and soggy)
Is it lunchtime yet????
Lazy Man's grilled cheese, or "hot cheese" as I called it. White bread with cheese in the middle, microwave for 30 seconds and enjoy.
And who doesn't love Vienna Sausages?
Lazy Man's ungrilled cheese: white bread and American cheese with mayonnaise, cold.
"Quesedilla": tortilla w/ unmelted cheese, cold.
Just ate two day old leftover sausage burrito from McDonald's, microwaved 25 seconds.
My default thing to eat when no one is looking is a handful of peanuts and a handful of raisins. Or if I'm feeling energetic enough to bite, an apple with peanut butter.
anything in the house that can be microwaved into 'nachos' - whatever chip or cracker (triscuits...even saltines) are lying around topped with whatever cheese i can find microwaved until melty...then topped with salsa and/or tabasco.
and cooked pasta topped with margarine (not butter!) and the cheapie parmesan cheese. i lived on that as a teenager.
for dessert - a generous tablespoon of peanut butter, topped with a pool of hershey's syrup...i repeated the hershey's syrup step as needed.
As a kid: sandwiches of cold canned ravioli on white bread (with the edges mashed and crusts torn off, so it resembles a giant raviolus); butter sandwiches; Vienna sausages and cream cheese with chives on saltine crackers (at my grandmother's house watching the Channel 5 "Big Show" after school).
As an adult: canned bean dip (the kind that leaves a pull-top lid imprint on the surface); cold leftover pizza; jalapeno-flavored pretzel nuggets; saltine crackers; Pringles.
I admire everyone else's self-control. Pass the Frito scoops, please.
Nicki: That's your idea of a confession—an apple? Obviously the bean-dip pusher needs to roll up in your neighborhood.
Alexis: I may have to steal your fun dip idea. You may keep the noodles, however.
Loma Linda makes these vegetarian hot dogs in a can, which are delicious eaten chilled.
My brother used to eat real hot dogs uncooked out of the package. Is it anything like that?
The girlfriend breaks saltines into a glass, tops with milk, enjoys with spoon.
In my drinking days, nothing succeeded as Plan B stomach lining protection better than Hostess Twinkies and chocolate milk.
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Nashville Nachos=a Triscuit with a circular dam of Kraft American aerosol Easy Cheese filled with Franks hot sauce topped by a pickled jalapeno slice
Repeat x 50
Two votes for Lazy Man's Grilled Cheese, I thought that was proprietary to my laziness as a kid.
pink- i really wouldnt try it. it kind of makes me gag to think about now.
if i were going to do it now, i would probably just use fine vanilla sugar.
I love some crushed Graham Crackers in bowl with milk. Its a poor man's golden grahams. Delicious, but I would never eat it in front of anyone.
As a little kid I used to eat the hot dogs straight out of the fridge, like mr. pink's brother. Now I just eat the tofu dogs straight out of the fridge.
I've also been known to open a can of sauerkraut and pretty much eat most of it straight from the can. (Same with olives)
And if there's a Velveeta brick in the house, it's guaranteed that the cat and I are going to fight over it.
Pickled beets, straight from the jar while standing at the fridge.
Spoonful of peanut butter sprinkled with chocolate chips.
Ruffles with soft chocolate ice cream as dip.
Popcorn with a giant bag of plain m&m's.
I love a Eggo Waffle with peanut butter and syrup.
Cinnamon toast is another favorite. Hmmm, I detect a theme here: my three favorite food groups are: bread, sugar, and butter.
Sparkplug, I'm going to ignore the beets (or substitute bread-and-butter pickles) and say you're a chocolate junk lover after my own heart, and your list is the very reason I don't dare keep anything sweet or crunchy-fried in the house. So, like Pink says, it's an apple for me.
When I was a kid, I'd skim my fingernails over the butter (ahem, margarine) and eat it. And for fun, I'd get a Kraft single and fold it over and over until I couldn't fold it anymore and then peel off the tiny sheets and eat them.
Now, I always keep a bag of frozen tater tots in the fridge. I do heat them, though.
Kid stuff- Leftover Kraft mac and cheese "sandwich" on white bread.
Now- Anything(pretzels, crackers, tortilla chips) dipped in Brummel and Brown spread. Bonus points for peanut butter sandwiches with Brummel and Brown too.
1. Waffles topped with powdered sugar, brown sugar, and lots of syrup.
2. Peanut M&Ms dipped in cake frosting...straight out the jar.
Eggos with either Peanut Butter, or Nutella.
Oreos with Peanut butter.
Peanut Butter straight out the jar (are we noticing a theme here?).
Side note to Tracy Moore. Have you tried Rick's Picks- Smokra (pickled okra, with a smokey taste). SO GOOD!
Oreos dipped in Peanut Butter out of the jar.
Noodles, Butter, Sour Cream and Parmesean Cheese
Chocolate Cake Frosting
The skin off the Turkey at Thanksgiving ( cooked )
Currently indulging - piece of milk chocolate (only because I don't have chocolate chips) dipped in the peanut butter jar at my desk. I hope no one walks in my office right now.
Moosetracks ice cream mixed with natual peanut butter and a cut up ice cream. A-mazing!
Mr. Pink: yes, the veggie ones satisfy just like their meat counterpart. Veggie hot dogs in regular packaging aren't that bad, but you should see people's face when you pull out the can.
Kevin: I also have a soft spot for mushy graham crackers in milk. Mmmm!
Meg: By chance, you didn't try the crunchy dried okra snacks that the Fresh Market was selling a few months ago? Those actually looked enticing to me, but they were more than $3 a bag as I recall.
Galyn, I've known you all this time, and you're just now outing yourself as a cinnamon-toast junkie? That may come back to haunt you at our next get-together.
Here's three-steps to the perfect raw ramen, my alone-at-home food vice:
1) Break apart the block of ramen BEFORE opening the package.
2) Empty the flavor packet over the cracked up shards.
3) Enjoy. Then lie down for the rest of the afternoon, as you've just consumed a week's worth of sodium in under 15 minutes.
I have too many to list, but I did catch my cousin in the act one time many years ago.
Homeboy had a few too many, came home and, as you do when you're drunk, raided the fridge. I heard the noise but fell asleep soon. When I woke up the next morning, my cousin was passed out on the sofa, shirtless with a half eaten stick of velveta cheese in one hand and a bowl of leftover San Antonio Taco Co. queso dip in the other. He had been dipping the velveta into the the queso. Amen.
As a child:
1. Poke finger in butter dish, then poke into sugar jar.
2. Fill a teacup with sugar and cinnamon. Hide in Barbie house. Take sips.
3. Fill another teacup with Kraft Powdered Parmesan and garlic salt. Eat with fingers.
4. Triangles of white bread dipped in a combination of melted margarine and Log Cabin syrup (ok, I admit, this was not when I was home alone. This was the most exotic dish I had ever had at a party. My mother didn't allow white bread or margarine in our home).
5. Cram a chocolate chip into a mini-marshmallow.
6. Lunch every day the summer between my junior and senior years of high school: a jar of Marshmallow Cream and a box of Golden Graham. Dip spoon in marshmallow, then jam it down into the cereal. Scrape off spoon with teeth.
As an adult:
1. Single girl dinner: noodles with butter and parm.
2. or Kraft Shells and Cheese
3. or Tostino's Party Pizza (Cheese)
4. or just popcorn. Usually air-popped with kosher salt and HALF A STICK OF BUTTER. I can't believe I just told you that.
5. but if it's microwave popcorn, I eat the whole bag, then I rip it apart and lick the paper.
Caleb, I will never be able to look at you the same way. Thanks bud for taking all the heat off of me for the ravioli sandwiches.
Delaney: Your awesome list of childhood escapades brought back a long-suppressed memory of the time I snuck a hot dog in my pocket into the backyard and tried to cook it with a book of matches, one by one.
Mr. Pink, I'm sorry but you can NEVER live down the ravoli sandwiches.... shudder....
Hey, I COMPLETELY forgot an incredibly awesome sandwhich that I haven't made in years but must now foist upon my kids. It will blow their minds since it's so different than the carrots and hummus I usually make them eat:
Peanut butter and marshmallow fluff, broiled slightly and then slapped together to form the most marvelous, melty melange of toasted marshmallowy munchiness.
And, uh, yeah, anytime you want to have cinnamon toast, just call me.
@Delaney
In regards to the popcorn (both of them), I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I've been worried a long time, that I was alone in my love of popcorn and its buttery goodness.
In college, I used to eat Baked Lays dipped in a mixture of cottage cheese and ketchup.
me i love taco bell. i have low expectations from them and they are always met. about the only way they can screw it up is to not put something in the bag or not put enough hot sauce in there so that i can put two packets on each taco and about ten on a nacho supreme. I once told a lady at the drive through "I need more hot sauce than you can imagine". I wasn't driving that night for good reason.
Damn how did I miss this post first go around? Yall are entertaining.
One of my adult alone eating pleasures is raw rolled oats with mini chocolate chips & walnuts. It's strangely satisfying and delicious.
Peanut butter with a spoon, with hershey's syrup drizzled on (like hungry hippo), or with honey drizzled on.
