The promotional copy for Magic Hat's seasonal beer, Wacko, describes the brew like this:
"Crisp like the morning, cool like the evening and quenching all day long. It's the beer that dances to the beat of summer. Pop the top and set your summer loose. Wacko is the liquid song of summer."
In journalism, that's what you call burying the lede. Crisp like the morning? Cool like the evening? Hell, any written material regarding Wacko should start off with "Red like a longneck of Cheerwine" and proceed from there with any secondary blather about hops and malt, because the significant thing about Wacko is simply this: Mother of God, it is RED.
That's because it is made with beet juice, which imparts a freakishly happy color to a drink that, by all rights, should take its tint from somewhere among the minor tones.
But, come to think of it, red beverages have their place, so I offer the following top uses for beet-colored beer:
7. Drinking on Valentine's Day, duh
6. Drawing attention to your glassware
5. Drinking to impress Dwight Schrute
4. Drinking with teetotalers. They'll think it's Cheerwine.
3. Drinking with children. They'll think it's Cheerwine.
2. Drinking at work. Your boss will think it's Cheerwine.
And the number one use for beet-colored beer...
1. Drinking when you run out of beer-colored beer, because you'll never taste the difference.